


Fall From Grace

by Lolly_XX



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Butt Plugs, Desperation, F/F, F/M, Light BDSM, M/M, Masturbation, Multi, Omorashi, Oral Sex, Pegging, Wetting, golden showers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:00:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 20,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24738877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lolly_XX/pseuds/Lolly_XX
Summary: Dean Winchester and Castiel are roommates. One of them is an undercover kink, the other is about to have his whole life shaken up.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Meg Masters, Charlie Bradbury/Jo Harvelle, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester
Comments: 5
Kudos: 27





	1. It could happen to anyone

Castiel was sitting at the mismatched dining table studying when he heard the keys jingle outside the door. He glanced at the clock not realizing how long it had been since he started diving into his thick bio book. 

The door burst open and Dean disappeared behind the wall that separated the kitchen from the rest of the small apartment. Cas could hear Dean panting and stood to see if everything was okay. As he peered around the corner he saw Dean sink to his knees, a small moan escaping his lips followed by a string of no's.

Cas watched in astonishment for a moment as the insides of Dean's denim pants grew darker and the puddle around him expanded. Dean's head dropped, he looked defeated and utterly mortified. His roommate went to him, being careful not to step in the wetness. 

"Dean," Cas began. "It's okay." 

Cas reached out to put a hand on Dean's shoulder but Dean flinched away. 

"Please. I'm sorry," he sobbed. "I promise it won't happen again. Just don't punish me. I'll clean it. I'm sorry." 

Cas frowned. He knew a brief overview of Dean's relationship with his father but he didn't know it was like *that. He knelt down, not caring about the puddle, and rubbed Dean's back. Once he was sure Dean had finished he drug him up and nudged him around the corner to the bathroom. 

"A shower will make you feel better." Cas left Dean, closing the door behind him. He quickly went to the linen closet and grabbed a few towels to soak up the mess. He tossed them in the tiny washer on his way back toward Dean's room. He pulled open the disarrayed drawers and found some clean clothes. Cas could still hear the shower running but he knocked and told Dean he was setting some clothes on the counter for him. He scooped up the soiled clothes before heading back to the washer to drop them in along with his own pants which had garnered some dark spots around the knees.   
Back in his own room Cas stripped down to just his briefs and looked for something more comfy to wear. 

Dean exited the bathroom and glanced at Cas before sulking into his bedroom. Once he was dressed Cas came to Dean's door and leaned on the frame. 

"Wanna watch a movie?" He picked at one of his nails. "I can make us some sandwiches..." 

Dean grunted in response. 

"We don't have to talk about it, but we can if you want." 

"No." Dean said as he pushed past Cas. In the living room he plopped onto the couch. Cas came in shortly after with 2 sandwiches on a plate. He took his and handed the other one off to Dean.

"Thanks," Dean said sheepishly. 

"Yeah, well you're usually hungry after work so I-" 

"No I mean for..." Dean waved his hand toward the kitchen. 

"Oh," Cas blushed. "Don't mention it." 

*******

The movie ended well after nightfall. 

"Think I might go see Lis," Dean stood, smoothing his hands over his legs. 

Lisa was their upstairs neighbor who had a casual fling with Dean. He'd usually only go up when her son was sleeping at a friend's house or visiting her parents, or if he'd struck out at the bar and was really desperate. 

"Yeah," Cas stretched. "Should probably head to bed anyway. All that studying, you know." 

Dean smiled at Cas before heading out the door. 

Cas laid in bed trying to fall asleep. But the walls in that damned apartment were paper thin. He could hear the slap of Lisa's headboard against the wall, the creak of the springs in her mattress, and worst of all, the shrill screams from her mouth. 

Cas covered his head with a pillow, wishing it would all stop. But every time he closed his eyes he saw Dean kneeling in the kitchen, vulnerable, wetting himself. His hardness strained against the thin fabric of his briefs. He pulled them down and let his fingers graze over the delicate skin. Soon he was gripping himself, thrusting up into his hand. He tossed the pillow aside and snaked his other hand down behind himself and played at his entrance. He eased the finger in, finding the sweet spot and pressed on it over and over. Lisa's voice faded away allowing Cas to imagine Dean fucking him mercilessly. Then he heard Dean's voice and it was enough to send him over the edge. But following his relief came the burning shame of lusting after his best friend, who very clearly would not reciprocate. 

*********  
Dean left Lisa, the way he always left the women after, never bothering to spend the night and often without even saying goodbye. 

Back inside his own apartment it was quiet. Cas was already asleep. Dean went to his bed and flopped down face first. He wasn't tired but there was nothing else to do. So he forced himself to try to sleep. But something kept nagging at him. When he was with Lisa, any time he closed his eyes he saw Cas, his smooth skin and tight wiry muscles. Hell, he even had to flip Lisa over just to be able to finish. He shook the thoughts from his head. He* didn't feel this way. Not him, he'd always liked girls. But he couldn't escape the image of Cas that kept popping into his head.


	2. Wet Bet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys make a bet that goes awry.

The next day was Saturday and both Dean and Castiel were going to be home the whole day. They were sitting on the couch after breakfast when Cas looked at Dean in the usual way that Dean couldn't quite place. 

"Yesterday..." he started slowly. "You thought I was him." 

"No, Cas. Come on. You're not shrinking my brain." 

"I'm sorry Dean, but I'm your friend. I want to know that you're okay." 

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine, okay? Now let's drop it." 

"I just mean it's perfectly normal. Everyone has accidents sometimes. Like maybe someone is in the library studying and they keep saying just a few more minutes but then it's been hours. And finally they cant stand up because it hurts too bad but they can't hold it anymore, despite the tight grip and it just comes out in a small, hot jet. And they can't pee themselves in front of all the people so they hobble to the bathroom as best they can, abandoning all their belongings and dignity. And as they enter the bathroom someone is on their way out and notices the growing wet patch. So, it could happen to anyone."

"Wow, Cas. That's oddly specific."

"Well, as I said. It's possible for anyone to experience the occasional incontinence." A light blush swept Castiel's face. 

"Well, studying is a lame excuse." Dean sipped his coffee. "I was so busy yesterday I didn't get a bathroom break since 8 o'clock in the morning." 

"Well, I hardly think -" 

"I bet I could hold it longer than you." 

Cas had to pretend like this wasn't his most favorite bet they'd ever made. 

"We'll see. If one of us drinks, the other has to." 

"Deal." Dean smirked, feeling full of confidence that he would win and ignoring the flutter he felt low in his abdomen.   
The hours ticked by and they passed the time playing video games. They'd finished 2 cups of coffee each and several glasses of water. Dean wouldn't admit but he was feeling pretty full by thos point, although he seemed better off than Cas who was rocking in his seat. 

"How you doing there, buddy?" 

"Fine," Cas gritted. "And you?" 

"Never better," Dean lied. 

Another hour, another drink. This time, whiskey. Half an hour later and Cas could barely stand the pressure. But seeing Dean like this, the sweat beading up on his forehead, his subtle grabbing of his crotch, it was making Cas hard, which made it easier to hold. 

The next 15 minutes were excruciating but finally Cas couldn't do it. He stood suddenly and bolted toward the bathroom, the same plan as Dean, apparently. They reached the door frame simultaneously and each gripped a side for support.

"You win, Dean. I can't hold it."

"Yeah, yeah. Don't care. Just need to piss." 

They were shoving each other out of the way attempting to reach the toilet before the dam broke. But it was to no avail. They tumbled into each other, knocking their bladders loose. Dean was somewhat on top of Cas, his groin pressed into Cas' thigh, his hand on the opposite side of his waist. Cas could feel the warmth soaking through Dean's pants and into his own. His own stream was so strong it arched out of his soaked plaid pajamas. The only sounds were their heavy breathing accompanied by the trickle and his of their streams mingling together on the floor. 

Dean finally attempted to get up, accidentally grinding against Cas' thigh in the process. Cas thought he could cum right then. His hips bucked off the ground in an unintentional response. Then, almost involuntarily, in some sort of primal response, they were rocking their hips together. It was fast and animalistic, giving no room for anyone to think about what was happening. 

Dean came with a small shuttering moan, Castiel was silent, holding his breath through the waves of pleasure. But as quickly as things had turned Dean stood abruptly. 

"What the hell, Cas?" He stormed off to the linen closet and retrieved a towel then slammed his door on his way into his room. 

Cas was left in the mess. His and Dean's urine were quickly cooling on his pants, the sticky mess in his pants was becoming uncomfortable. He couldn't fathom what had just happened. Finally he pulled himself up, stripped down and mopped up the mess with his soiled clothes. He tossed them in the wash and got another towel for the remaining mess on the bathroom floor. He started the washer and got into the shower. 

He tried to make sense of it all but his body was still sensitive and his mind was reeling. He watched as his penis went from flaccid and droopy to hard again. Thinking about Dean pissing on his leg, thinking about the flood of his own relief as the warmth shot out of him, thinking about the way Dean's face looked when he orgasmed. Cas found his hand around his cock, yet again, wanting to release the tension. He gasped and shook as another orgasm racked his body. Then he got out of the bathroom, to be courteous to his roommate who probably needed to clean up pretty badly. 

Cas laid on his bed listening to Dean make his way to the bathroom. The water turned on shortly after. Cas eventually drifted off.


	3. Mistress Meg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas calls on a friend to satisfy his needs in the aftermath of his fallout with Dean. He also implores her to try out a new kink.

When Cas came to about 45 minutes had gone by. 

He left he room, took a detour to the kitchen, and then knocked on Dean's door. Dean opened the door without saying anything. Cas held up a small plate. 

"I brought you a peace offering. It's pie... I know how much you like -" 

Dean took the plate because he'd never turn down pie. 

"I'm sorry," Cas began. "I dont know what happened..." 

"I'm not -" Dean stopped short. "Y'know." His teeth clanged against the fork as he took a bite. 

"Yeah. I know." 

"Okay." Dean said. 

Cas didn't know what else to say so he left the room. 

Several silent moments later Dean came into the kitchen, dropped his plate in the sink, and grabbed his keys. 

"Some of the guys from work are going out. I'm gonna go hang for a bit." 

Cas smiled and nodded, not looking up to meet Dean's eyes, instead choosing to focus on the pasta swirling around in the bubbling water. 

"Have fun." He said. 

Later on he decided to call on Meg, who was a girl he occasionally spent time with when he was feeling lonely. 

Meg knocked twice and Castiel could tell it was her - he could always tell. He opened the door to see her leaning on the outside wall. 

"Howdy stranger." 

"Meg." 

"The usual?" She asked letting herself in past Cas. 

"Y-yes please." 

Her mouth twisted into a half smirk. She went to his room and dropped her bag down on his bed. She rummaged through it and pulled out a few things. 

"Do you want it quick? Or slow and painful?" She asked, running her hands along his chest. 

"Uh. Um. Well my roommate is out for the night. So..." 

"Slow it is." 

She took his hands. 

"Why so clammy Clearance? Nothing we haven't done before." 

"I know, it's just... asking you to come here like this. It feels -" 

"Dirty? Wrong? Oh come on." Meg laughed. "Get over yourself. We all have a little deviance in us somewhere." 

And with that she pushed him to the bed.

"Strip." She demanded. 

He obeyed.

"Good. Now get on your hands and knees." 

Again, he obeyed. She spread some lube on a little purple butt plug that was laying on the bed and inserted it. He sucked in a breath. 

"How does that feel?" She whined in his ear. 

"Uagh. Good," he grunted

As Cas' body relaxed the plug felt more comfortable and even enjoyable. It was just enough to press on his sweet spot without being big enough to stimulate it fully. 

"You know the deal," She said, laying back on the bed. "Cant be all take with no give." 

He gave a nod then moved into position. Between her legs Cas pushed Meg's black skirt up to her waist. He looked up at her with his eyebrow cocked. 

"Figured I'd make it easier for you. Besides there's something so powerful about going commando." 

He sighed and moved back between her thighs. He didn't really like the taste of women, though Meg was very clean. Besides, for a little bit of oral sex she was willing to do all sorts of things to him without so much as blinking, and she always kept his secrets. 

Going down on Meg always made Cas soft, but she was never offended. Neither one of them wanted sex to be the outcome anyway. She knew he wasn't into women, despite never having said that out loud, their agreement told her everything she needed to know. But in spite of that he still was decently good at going down. She imagined his patience and willingness to learn along with the fact that he wanted to do his best so she would keep his naughty secrets were contributing factors. 

After Meg got off she went to work on Cas. First she started with spanking, then when they wasnt enough she got out the riding crop. And when Cas was good and submissive she strapped on a large dildo, removed the plug, and fucked him senseless. Once he was a sweaty puddle on the bed she finally gave his cock some relief. 

This time he stopped her before she lubed up her hand. 

"Wait. Can I ask you something?" 

"Yeah, Cas. I'm fine with this. We've gone over it." 

"No, I mean can we do something different this time?" 

She squinted at him, waiting to hear his brilliant idea. 

"Will you... it's kind of odd, but -" 

"Oh just get on with it. I'm fine with weird." 

"If I lay in the bathtub will you pee on me while I rub myself?" He blurted out in one breath. 

She licked the corner of her mouth. "Okay," she finally said. 

He sat on his bed blinking for a moment, he didn't expect her to say yes. 

"Well?" She pointed at the bathroom. 

Cas got up and went to the bathroom. The porcelain tub was cold on his skin. Meg hiked up her skirt and planted one foot on the floor. The other was lifted and rested on the opposite wall. 

He positioned himself under her and braced himself. He gripped himself tightly waiting for her to release her stream. 

The first few drops escaped, uncertainly. 

"Sorry," she admitted. "I can be a little pee shy." 

"Take your time," he assured. 

She pulled her lips apart with her free hand and clenched her muscles down. The next jet was stronger and lasted longer. Then she started peeing freely. 

He watched as the golden liquid cascaded down over his aching member. He rubbed furiously, occasionally glancing up at Meg's vagina where the stream was coming out strong. 

This time when he came it was a loud tortured moan. 

Meg stopped her pee and put both feet back on the tile. 

Cas laid there, breathless. 

"Do you want me to turn the water on?" Meg asked. 

"No," he panted. "Thanks, though." 

"I'll just pack up and leave." 

He nodded. "Okay. Thanks again." She turned toward the door. 

"And Meg?" 

"I'm not going to tell anyone." 

"No. Do you think we could do this again?" 

She smiled, "anything for my unicorn." 

It was past 2 a.m. when Dean came back, with company, it seemed. 

She must not have stayed the night because when Castiel woke up around 5 o'clock to go to the bathroom he noticed Dean's door was open and there was no girl in his bed. As he stood sleepily in front of the toilet Castiel heard movement outside then a knock. 

"Cas, are you in there?" It was Dean. 

"Yeah, I'll be just a second." He called back. 

"Well hurry up, would you? I have to pee like a damn race horse." 

Cas smirked. He heard more shuffling outside the door. Was Dean doing a pee dance? Castiel finished and shook off, taking a little longer than necessary.   
Finally the door opened and Dean, who was leaning against the wall, pinching his crotch, hobbled into the bathroom kicking the door closed. Cas lingered for a moment to hear the release. A loud thunderous spurt echoed through the bathroom, interrupted only by Dean groaning in relief.


	4. Dick on Dick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something bad happens to Cas that opens Dean's eyes. 
> 
> *TW for non-con/rape*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do I do these things to the characters I love?

After sleeping a few more hours Cas got up and dressed.   
"Where you goin'?" Dean was lounging on the couch, no doubt nursing a hangover, judging by the bottle of Tylenol and half drank glass of water on the coffee table.   
"Chapter meeting," Cas was packing up his backpack.   
"Ugh. I still can't believe you joined a fraternity."   
"Well, I wanted to get the full college experience."   
"Yeah, but a frat? All those guys are -"   
"Some of those guys are good friends." Cas looked seriously at Dean. "Gabe and Balthazar especially have been good to me."   
"Eh…" Dean waved. "Besides what kind of name even is Balthazar?"   
"I don't know, Dean. The name his parents gave him." Castiel was short.   
"Anyway, there's some real dicks too. Like Michael and Luci. That's another one, who names their son Luci?"   
"I don't know. I have to go." Castiel slammed the door on his way out.   
"Frickin child." Dean muttered, reaching for the remote. 

Cas was seated on a chair in the frat house's living room when he felt a rush of air behind him. Gabriel and Balthazar flanked him, taking their respective seats.   
"Oh, God. You stink of cheap whiskey," Balthazar scrunched up his face.   
"Spending time with your boyfriend, I see?" Gabe teased.   
"I told you guys. Dean is not my boyfriend. He's just my roommate."   
Balthazar clicked his tongue against his teeth. "Cassie, darling we really do have to get you out of there. You just spend all your time pining over him in that teeny tiny apartment."   
"Let us take you out!" Gabe had the sudden idea. "Tonight."   
Cas sighed, "I have class tomorrow, you guys I can't -"   
"Oh, pish posh." Balthazar waved. "There's a semi decent gay club down town, I mean so far as decent clubs go out here."   
Before Balthazar could launch into a lecture about how clubs were so much better back home, Cas agreed to go. 

The meeting went about normal. Luci and Michael took charge, as usual. Gabe and Balthazar spent the whole time cracking jokes and whispering dirty versions of everything said at the meeting. Cas got up to leave but Gabe and Balthazar grabbed his shoulders.   
"We'll be around at 9," Gabe said. "Be ready." 

Gabe and Balthazar showed up before 9. Cas was in his room getting dressed so Dean answered the door.   
"Ah, Dean. Surprised to see you home. Thought you'd be off with some girl." Balthazar made himself comfortable on the couch.   
"Can I get you a drink?" Then Dean mumbled under his breath, "dicks."   
"No thanks," Gabe said. "I'm driving."   
"And I don't drink cheap liquor." Balthazar crossed his legs.   
Cas joined them, smoothing out his shirt.   
"Right then, let's go." Balthazar looked over Dean one last time before walking out the door. Cas and Gabe followed.   
At the club Cas settled in at the bar while Balthazar made his way to the dance floor. Gabe bought the first round for his "brothers." Cas downed the first one in no time. Balthazar came to get his drink from Gabe.   
"What are you even doing out there?" Gabe laughed. "Thought men weren't your flavor?"   
"Well someone has to find a mate for this handsome devil. He won't do it himself."   
Cas rolled his eyes and smiled. Out of the corner of his eye he could see a dark figure watching him. He didn't pay it much mind and continued on having fun with Balthazar and Gabriel, hammering down drink after drink.   
"So," Balthazar watched Cas at the other end of the bar, rocking side to side. "Should we ask him what it's about?"   
"Nah," Gabriel frowned. "If he wanted to talk about it he'd have brought it up."   
They looked back but Cas was gone. 

Cas' head was spinning when he reached the bathroom. He unzipped in front of the urinal and tried to steady himself. He didn't think much of it when he heard the door shut. But then he felt someone behind him.   
"Been watching you all night." The voice said. "Name's Levi."   
Cas grunted as he was pushed against the dirty wall.   
"I - I don't -" Cas stuttered.   
"Shhh, shhh." Levi hissed, pulling down Cas' pants and unbuckling his own.   
"No," Cas whispered. "No. I can't. I don't want…"   
Levi thrust into Cas. He let out a strangled cry. Admittedly, if he had pursued Levi this would be pretty hot. But Cas didn't want to be roughly fucked in the dirty bathroom. He wanted to feel something, a spark, not lust but trust, maybe.   
Levi finished relatively quickly, although it felt like it lasted much longer to Cas. Levi left but Cas stood there for a while, finally he put himself back together.   
As their eyes were screening the bar for Cas, Balthazar and Gabriel spotted him exit the bathroom. He stumbled to them.   
"I want to go home," he demanded.   
"The fun is just getting started," Gabe said, checking his watch for the time.   
"Now." Cas interrupted, biting back tears.   
They closed out the tab and got into the car. Cas noticed Gabe keep checking him in the rear view mirror.   
"Cas, sweety," Balthazar finally broke the silence.   
"I don't want to talk about it."   
They left it at that. 

Dean was Playing a video game when Cas rushed into the apartment, followed by Gabriel and Balthazar. He went straight to his room. Dean looked at the clock, noting it was only a little after midnight.   
"Struck out fast tonight?" Dean chuckled. But then looking at the two faces he noticed something was wrong. He paused the game.   
"What happened?" He began feeling defensive, angry at them.   
They both shrugged. Dean shut off the game and went to Cas' room. He closed the door and sat on the edge of his bed, back to back.   
"I… uh… you?"   
"I don't want to talk about it."   
Once upon a time that would be enough. Dean would have left him to stew and brood. But Dean knew better now. And even though they had some weird moments lately, Dean still cared for Cas. Cas was always there when Dean needed him, he owed it to him to do the same.   
"A wise psychology student once told me you shouldn't hold onto everything yourself." He felt Cas shift to a laying position.   
Cas uttered a sigh.   
"I - I was… he v-" Cas sniffed.   
"Who? He who? Cas?"   
"I don't know… someone named Levi. I was in the bathroom when he came in and…" Cas trailed off but Dean was starting to put the pieces together.   
"Damnit, Cas." He wanted to shake him and ask him what he was even doing in a place like that. But he knew. Cas was tired of being lonely, watching Dean bring home an endless string of girls. Besides, that wouldn't help the situation and would only make Cas feel worse.   
"I just wanna go to sleep."   
"Okay, buddy."   
Dean shut off the light and pulled the door behind him. He left it cracked a bit, he just couldn't bring himself to close the door, not completely. 

Dean tossed a blanket to each of Cas' friends who were seated on the couch.   
"You can stay here if you want." Then he disappeared into his room. He laid in bed, twisting and turning. Dean wanted to go to Cas and hold him. He'd never felt like that before, was never involved with someone long enough to get emotions involved. But Cas and him weren't dating, they were just roommates. More than that they were best friends. Dean supposed he hadn't been much of a friend lately, though.   
He couldn't take it anymore and jumped up out of bed. He stamped to his door and swung it open. Then he crept over to Cas' door and slipped in. Cas was asleep so Dean sat on the floor and leaned against the dresser.   
"I'm sorry, Cas. That shouldn't have happened to you. If I was there I woulda - well… doesn't matter," he sighed. "You deserve better, man. Better friends than Balthazar and Gabe. Better than me. Anyway."   
After watching him sleep for a little while longer Dean eventually drifted off as well. 

Cas woke with the sun the next morning to find Dean asleep on his floor.   
"Dean," he shook him awake. "Don't you have to get ready for work?"   
Dean rubbed his face, blinking his eyes.   
"No, I texted Bobby that I wouldn't be in today."   
"But -"   
"No. Look. You need me more than they do."   
Cas chewed his lip.   
"Besides, I deserve a day off." Dean stood, "by the way, tweedle dumb and tweedle dumber are on the couch."   
"You didn't tell them -"   
"No. No. Not my place."   
"Thanks."   
Cas told his friends he was fine, sending them on their way. Dean let him have his space for a good part of the day but after lunch when Cas was still curled up on the couch, not having touched any of his food Dean stepped in.   
"You have to eat, buddy."   
"I'm not hungry."  
"Listen, what happened, it sucks, you know but -"   
"I can still feel him inside of me, Dean." Cas wiped at his eye.   
Dean sat beside him on the couch, "I don't know how to fix this."   
"There is no fixing it. It happened. I was stupid and let my guard down and it happened. Can't take it back."   
So Dean resolved to not fix anything. Instead he just sat beside Cas, and he didn't know it, but his presence meant everything.


	5. Winchester Family Dinner pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas gets invited to his first Winchester family dinner, it ends really wet.

Weeks passed and Cas eventually sought someone out to talk about that night. He'd been seeing a counselor on campus and working through what he felt. He still didn't tell his fraternity brothers, Dean was the only one who knew.   
Dean was happy Cas was getting the help he needed, plus he'd been much happier. They returned to their comfortable, easy friendship.   
"I'm heading up to Sam's, he's having everyone over for dinner. Wanna come?"   
"Sure. I could use a break from organic chemistry." Cas slammed close the gigantic textbook.   
They made it to Sam's townhouse about an hour later. Their misfit little family was scattered about the backyard. Jo was helping Jess carry out the food, Bobby and Ellen sat at a table across from Jody and Donna, Alex and Claire were sitting in lawn chairs looking at their phones and Sam was at the grill. A blonde dog greeted Dean and Cas at the gate.   
"Hey bones," Cas reached down and scratched the dog's head.   
They made their way to Sam to say hi, stopping along the way to accept hugs from Jo and Jess.   
"Hey guys!" Sam beamed, setting aside the spatula to greet his brother. "So good to see you both. And Cas, I'm glad you came."   
"Thank you for having me."   
"Well, uh. Food's almost done and there's drinks in the kitchen. Please, help yourself."   
Cas followed Dean over to the table and took a seat on the end of the table while Dean got comfortable beside Bobby. Jo sat on the other side of Ellen and handed two beers down to Cas and Dean.   
"What's the word?" Dean asked Jody.   
"Oh ya know…"   
"Life with teenage girls, amiright?" Donna interrupted.   
"Yeah," Dean glanced over at the two girls. "Sounds like a nightmare."   
"Oh, they aren't so bad," Jody nudged Donna with her shoulder.   
"Yeah. They have their moments," Donna wrapped her arm around Jody.   
Sam and Jess joined the table, sitting near Cas. Everyone ate and made casual conversation. Cas asked Jess and Sam about the wedding planning, Sam and Cas talked about the struggles of school. Dean and Bobby talked about work, Ellen talked to Jody and Donna about raising teenage girls and Jo made some small talk with Alex and Claire. After dinner people started leaving gradually until it was just Dean and Cas sitting on the patio with Jess and Sam. The sun was starting to set when they eventually headed out as well. 

The first half hour of the drive back was uneventful. Then traffic became heavy and slowed to almost a halt. Cas looked around nervously.   
"Hey, Dean. Is there any way you can pull off at the next stop?"   
"Yeah. I can try. We're pretty boxed in here."   
Traffic wasn't moving enough for Dean to even find a space to slip over, but he put his signal on nonetheless. Fifteen minutes passed and Dean was making a valiant effort to get over into the exit lane. But the cars weren't budging and hadn't for at least 5 minutes. Cas was noticeably squirmy. Dean kept checking out of the corner of his eye.   
Cas stayed quiet, gripping himself through his pants.   
"You okay?" Dean asked.   
Cas nodded, but Dean could tell he was white knuckling it.   
"Why didn't you go before we left?"   
"I did," Cas said in a low voice. A blush crept over his face.   
"Cas," Dean's voice startled him. "You better not pee in my baby."   
"Well I'm trying, Dean. But if we don't get over soon…"   
Dean kept frantically checking his mirrors. There was no way over. Then he got another idea.   
"Get in the back, I think there's an empty bottle somewhere." Cas struggled to get into the backseat of the car without losing control. Dean spotted a bottle by his feet and reached to get it, accidentally spiking the breaks in the process. The sudden jostling made Cas' bladder spasm.   
"Mmm," he gritted his teeth. "Dean!"   
He controlled the leak with only minor damage to his pants and no harm done to the car.   
"Here," Dean handed the bottle back to Cas who retrieved it with shaky hands.   
He unscrewed the cap while tightening all his muscles in order to keep some thread of control. The air in the car was still and everyone seemed to be holding their breath until a trickle sound echoed throughout the small space.   
Cas rested his chin on the seat behind Dean's shoulder.   
Dean could feel Cas' breath on his neck and it made the skin prickle up there. Cas couldn't help the moan that forced its way out of his throat. He thought he caught a glimpse of Dean readjusting himself. Maybe it was just wishful thinking. The bottle was filling faster than Cas' bladder was emptying, but it was enough to relieve the pressure. Traffic started opening back up and Cas capped the bottle, confident he could last til they got home.   
He was right, but the pressure had built back up by the time they got home. It actually felt kind of good and he wished Dean wasn't home so he could fuck himself like this or stand in the shower and piss into his jeans, or maybe both.   
The thought of it made him start to get hard. He crossed his legs to hide it, drawing attention from Dean.   
"Okay?" Was all he asked.   
"Mmhmm."   
"Still gotta…?"   
"Just a little."   
Dean nodded, trying to ignore the fact that he was feeling kind of turned on. Secretly he wanted to see Cas piss himself again. It was the only thing consuming his thoughts since the afternoon of their bet. He even tried to push his own bladder to its limits to feel something even close to that day.   
Dean made his decision and took painfully slow to find a parking spot in their complex. Then he took his time getting out of the car and unlocking their building's door. Then he dropped his keys a few times in front of their door. Cas was visibly struggling. Crossing his legs, wiggling about, grabbing himself. Dean thought about stalling outside their door but he didn't want to publicly embarrass his friend. Thankfully his actions were just slow enough so by the time they got inside their apartment Cas couldn't walk. He leaned against the wall, hands shoved between his legs, and bent forward. But Dean pressed firmly into his shoulder, pinning him to the wall.   
"Dean?" Cas looked confused.   
But Dean wasn't thinking with his upstairs brain anymore. He held Cas against the wall at an arm's length and looked over his body. His eyes settled on the dark spot on the zipper of Cas' pants. It started growing and then Dean looked back at Cas' face. His eyes were closed, mouth parted, pure relief flooded his expression.   
Dean stepped back and watched the urine spread down both of Cas' legs. Once he had finished they both stood there in shock. They met each other's eyes and for some stupid reason Dean pressed into Cas and kissed him. Cas pushed him away and breathlessly whispered his name.   
"I don't know," Dean said. "Just felt right."   
"No." Cas stopped him. "Will you piss on me?"


	6. Watersports

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean obliges Cas and tries something unusual.

He regretted it the moment the words left his lips. 

But Dean decidedly took Castiel by the wrist and led him to the bathroom. 

Cas got into the tub on his knees and Dean stood in front him him, unzipping. He pulled himself out and aimed it at the man who was now looking up at him. There were several seconds of nothing. 

"Dean?" 

"Shh." He hushed Cas. 

"It's okay if you can't…" 

"No. It just takes a minute." 

Dean looked up at the ceiling, thinking of running water, a urinal, anything but another person in front of him, watching expectantly with hungry eyes. Finally the floodgates opened. He still didn't look down at Cas, but he heard the moan beneath him. 

Cas began stroking himself through his clothes as Dean's piss streaked his shirt. It was short lived and not long after Dean's stream stopped, Cas came. Dean watched him vigorously rubbing his crotch, all soaking wet. It should be disgusting but it was… kinda hot. Dean was still hanging out of his pants and Cas pulled at his hips hungrily, taking Dean's semi hard penis in his mouth. He sucked hard and fast and Dean came, eventually falling back onto the toilet. They were silent. No one wanted to ruin the moment. But Cas was drenched and sticky and needed to shower. Considering everything he should have had no shame stripping down but instead he closed the curtain first. 

Dean collected himself and stood. 

"Hand me your clothes," he said, pulling back the curtain. 

Cas covered himself with his wet clothes. 

"Look, it's okay. I mean we just… anyway, just -" he closed then opened his hand back up, reaching for the clothes. Cas sighed and handed them over. Dean tried to hide it but the sight of Cas naked made him smile. 

'Damnit,' he thought.


	7. New beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets advice from his little brother after bringing up some old feelings.

That night Dean's head brought up all the old repressed memories. The time his dad caught him making out with the boy down the street and beat the life out of him. All the shameful side of the road hand jobs from strange men. 

The next day at lunch Dean called Sam. 

"I need help," Dean admitted to his younger brother. 

"What's up?" 

"I- I…" 

"Well spit it out Dean." 

"What do you remember from high school?" 

"You mean other than you sleeping with every single one of my prom dates?" Sam chuckled. 

"Yyyeeah. I mean - do you remember... about me and dad?" 

There was a long silence on the phone. "Dean?" Sam asked. "Are you okay? What's this about?" 

"So you do remember?" 

"Yeah." Sam breathed. 

Dean nodded, he didn't say anything but started to tear up. 

"Are you in some sort of trouble?" 

"No," he pinched the bridge of his nose. "No. It's… it's about Cas." Then he let out all the air he was holding in. 

Sam cleared his throat, not sure what to say. 

"It's… okay, Dean. Dad's not here anymore, you know? And you know everyone loves and supports Cas. It wouldn't be any different if you… y'know."   
Dean sniffled a bit. 

"Hey. I love you, brother." And with that Sam hung up.

Dean wiped his eyes, checking to make sure they weren't too red in the visor mirror. But he couldn't slip by Bobby without him taking notice. 

"You alright, boy?" 

"Golden rule bobby!" Dean called over his shoulder, pushing through the door into the garage. 

"What's the golden rule?" Jo asked, leaning over the reception desk. 

"No chick flick moments," Bobby continued wiping his hands down with a rag. 

That night Dean placed the kitchen waiting for Cas to come home. Two empty beer bottles were on the side of the sink and a third, half drank, was sweating in Dean's hand. Finally he heard the keys in the door. 

Cas noted the bottles on the counter. 

"Three beers, tough day?" 

"No," Dean put his hand on Cas' shoulder, pushing him toward a chair. 

Cas removed the strap over his shoulder and plopped down into the seat. 

"We need to talk, Cas." 

"Look, Dean, I shouldn't have asked what I did… last night was -" 

"Last night… and before… there's something I've been hiding, denying for years." 

And Dean told Cas everything, about his teen years, about the shame, about his father's merciless beatings. Cas held him, comforted him, told him it wasn't his fault. 

"We can take things as slowly as you need." He assured Dean. 

"I don't - I - I don't," Dean's forehead was pressed into the crook of Cas' neck. "I want you, Cas." 

Then he looked into Cas' eyes that way that made Cas melt. 

When their lips connected it was so powerful, like all the time Cas spent wanting Dean finally bubbled over and spilled out everywhere. Not like before, then it was timid. Now, it was forceful and God, did Cas want Dean, too. So he led the way, taking Dean by the hand, to his room. They sort of awkwardly disrobed in front of each other and Cas wanted to just admire Dean's body. But he slipped under the covers and invited Dean in with him. They kissed and touched and eventually Dean ended up on top of Cas. They moved together, united by their bodies, until they finally teetered on the edge. 

Cas came first, it was white hot burning inside him and exploded out all at once. Dean followed, much more controlled. 

Cas grabbed for the tissues on his nightstand to clean up their mess. He turned to Dean when he had finished. What now? Would they cuddle? Talk? It was unfamiliar territory. But he was relieved when Dean reached out an arm and drew him in. Cas rested his head on Dean's chest a while before falling asleep.


	8. Winchester Family Dinner pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets comfy with pda, then takes Cas on a wet adventure on a back road.

Cas was sitting at a picnic table in the square eating some lunch and reading. Gabe and Balthazar appeared from seemingly nowhere and sat across from him. 

"Do you ever stop studying?" Gabe asked. 

Cas closed his sociology book. "When idiots like you disturb me," Cas focused on the burger that lay half eaten on his plate. 

"I've been meaning to ask," Balthazar began. "What do you think of the TA in Crowley's class?" 

"He seems helpful," Cas shrugged. 

"No, I mean what do you think of him," Balthazar lifted his eyebrows. 

"Oh, I uh... he's okay. Not really my type." Cas began to blush. 

"Oh, come on. Don't tell me you think he's not attractive." 

"I do, it's just -" Cas hesitated. He wanted to tell them but he promised Dean they'd take things slowly and he wanted to respect that. 

"Is there someone else?" Gabe asked accusingly. 

Cas couldn't help but smile. 

"There is," he gasped. "Saucy little minx." 

"It's new, it's nothing," he checked his watch. "Gotta go." 

"Me too." Balthazar stood and followed him. 

They walked to class together silently for a while. 

"What did you think about Crowley's cadaver test?" 

"It was pretty easy, I thought. I dunno, anatomy is fairly simple for me." 

"Won't you tell me who it is?" Balthazar interrupted.

"No," Cas smiled. "Forget it."

After class Cas rushed home to meet Dean for weekly family dinner at Sam's. When they reached the gate at Sam's Dean nudged Cas' hand with his own before engulfing it. Cas looked down at their hands then at Dean's face. He looked scared. Cas tried to pull his hand away but Dean held on tighter, rubbing his thumb over Cas' knuckles. They entered the backyard linked at the hand. Jess gave them a warm smile as she set the table. No one really seemed to notice, except Sam, who came to them immediately and gave them a bear hug. 

"I'm really happy for you, Dean," he said sincerely before pulling away. It had attracted the attention of the other adult attendees who watched curiously.   
Bobby seemed pretty oblivious but Jody and Donna noticed the subtle hand hold and smiled at each other, nodding to Cas and Dean an assurance. 

Dean let out a sigh of relief and pulled Cas in closer. Sam returned to his spot at the table and before they followed, Dean leaned over to Cas and whispered something in his ear. 

"Remember our deal?" 

Cas nodded once. 

Family dinner was about the same as every other week except that Dean kept his hand on Cas' thigh throughout dinner. No one brought it up, but they seemed to have a more vested interest in Cas. 

He told everyone, after being prompted, about his field study on bees and his work with a non profit that was trying to fight against product testing on animals, specifically primates. 

As the night wound down Dean and Cas headed out early. 

"Got an early exam," Cas lied. 

The sun was setting as they neared home. Dean pulled down a dirt road and parked the impala in the lot for a park. He slid to the middle of the bench seat pulling Cas on top of him. 

"Before we start," Cas wriggled in Dean's lap. "Mind if I relieve myself." 

A glimmer flashed in Dean's eyes. 

"Mmm-mmm. Might be dangerous out there." 

"Dean, really. I do have to go. I'm not teasing." 

"What if you just," he raised his eyebrows. 

"But I thought I couldn't pee in your baby." 

Dean buried his face in Cas' neck. "I want to feel you wet on my lap. I want you to beg me to let you go. I wanna feel those cute little hips wiggle. I want you to grind into me as a last effort to hold. I wanna hear that little moan when you lose control. And I want to feel you soak your pants and mine." 

Dean knew Cas liked to be told what to do, he was pushing all the right buttons. 

"You like to torture me Dean Winchester." 

"Don't act like you aren't eating this up." Dean laughed. 

They started making out slowly, tongues sliding in and out of each other's mouths. Cas kept struggling to hold it. His legs were spread, straddling Dean. 

He couldn't clench them to help hold and Dean had his hands busy elsewhere. 

"Dean," Cas panted. "Please. I have to go. Please let me go. I can't h-hold it." A shiver ran through him as he begged.

"Hmm, is it really bad?"

"Uh-huh."

"Can't hold it at all?" 

Cas shook his head. His legs were shaking, he could feel it pressing down in his tip, coming out. 

"I'm leaking," he said suddenly.

Dean's eyes darted toward Cas' crotch. He ground his hips up as Cas bore down. Cas buried his head in Dean's shoulder and moaned loudly. Dean held him tight, fingers digging into his shoulder blades, and thrust. They were humping through their clothes the whole time Cas pissed himself. 

"Guess I'm gonna need to do some detailing tomorrow," Dean laughed as they pulled into their parking space. "Although, my pants absorbed most of the damage."


	9. Mixer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean surprises Cas with a public confession. Then they defile Michael and Luci's shared room and Dean gets yelled at by Gabe before meeting Meg.

Dean was gradually learning to shed all his guilt and shame about his feelings but it was still hard for him to be physically intimate with Cas. As much as he wanted it anytime he got close he could hear John's voice in his head. 

Nonetheless he felt bad about all the times he'd received a handjob or blowjob from Cas without being able to return the favor. He could feel Cas in his arms starting to wake up and decided to reach his arm around to the front of him. His fingers grazed Cas' belly. 

"Hey," Cas giggled, still sounding sleepy. "That tickles." 

Dean smiled into Cas' shoulder and dropped his hand lower, finding his cock. 

Cas gasped as Dean tightened his grip. 

Dean couldn't deny it felt nice. It was warm and smooth and reacted to his every touch. He teased it, switching between tight grips and light touching. 

Cas turned on to his back and Dean rested his head on Cas' chest, watching as he stroked him. 

"Dean, Dean," Cas moaned. "I'm gonna cum." 

Dean watched with intrigue as Cas shot his load. It slid down his shaft onto Dean's hand and eventually pooled in the little concave space below his belly button. 

Cas kissed the top of Dean's head, reaching for the box of tissues beside the bed. 

Dean glanced at the clock, "should probably get ready for family dinner. Or, well, lunch." He got up and smiled at Cas. 

Family dinners had served as a safe space for Dean and Cas to explore their relationship publicly. It had gone from holding hands to playful touches, Dean pulling Cas into his lap around the fire, and last time, after Dean put some sunscreen on Cas' face, he even stole a sweet kiss. 

That night after dinner, on their way home, Cas turned to Dean seriously. 

"Dean," he started, already expecting the answer. "I have a mixer to go to tomorrow night. Will you come with me?" 

"I dunno, Cas," Dean hated to say no but he still felt so afraid. 

"It's okay," Cas assured. "I understand." 

He did understand and he tried not to be disappointed. Eventually Dean would be okay with it. 

The following day at work Bobby pulled Dean aside. 

"You know I love you like my own." 

Dean nodded, not sure where this was going. 

"I just wanna say I'm really happy for you. You and Cas, you seem real happy together. You deserve that, Dean. Now I know you're father…" he trailed off. 

Dean wondered how much he knew. Had Sam told him? Did he put the pieces together himself? He did know John quite well, afterall. 

"Anyway, I just wanna say, I'm proud of ya, and I love you, son." 

Dean bowed his head. "Thanks, Bobby." 

Bobby clapped him on the shoulder before leaving. 

That night Dean raced home from work in hopes of catching Cas before he left. But he came home to an empty apartment. He rushed through a shower and put on some clothes that looked nice enough and ran to the car. He knew the way well enough, he'd dropped off and picked up Cas many times.  
In front of the frat house was a line of cars. Dean found a suitable spot for Baby and threw her in park. 

Cas was in the living room talking with Gabe and Balthazar. 

"What in sweet hell?" Gabe said when he saw none other than Dean Winchester but through the front door. 

Dean scanned the room and finally spotted Cas. He stood tall, straightened his shirt and walked right over to Cas. Grabbing him by the shoulders he spun him around and kissed him. 

"I'm sorry, I don't want to hide anymore. I want to give you everything you deserve." 

Cas smiled at him. "I'm sorry about what happened to you, Dean. I'll never let it happen again, you didn't deserve that." 

Then Cas turned toward his friends interlacing his fingers with Dean's. 

"Guys, Dean and I, we're dating." 

They were a little surprised, mainly just shocked from what had recently unfolded in front of them. 

"Well, Dean," Balthazar finally said. "Welcome, and uh do be good to our Cassie." He patted Dean on the cheek and walked away.  
Gabriel followed. 

"Don't worry about them, they just know how long I've had feelings for you and… well, anyway. Tour?" 

"Sure." 

Cas showed Dean the kitchen and grabbed them each a drink before moving to the stairs. Upstairs he pointed out several rooms including Gabe and Balthazar's shared room. 

"It's kind of like dorms, but with more space and freedom." 

"Whose is that?" Dean pointed to a black door at the end of the hall. 

Cas rolled his eyes. "Michael and Luci share that one. I don't know why; they hate each other most of the time." He checked to see if the door was locked but upon realizing it wasn't he opened it. "It's the biggest room in the house and usually the highest officers share it, but sometimes I think they should break the rules for everyone else's sake." 

Dean got an idea just then, seeing Cas standing slightly inside the room. He closed the door behind him and twisted the lock. 

Cas turned to him, noting the look on Dean's face. He dropped to his knees. But Dean went to him and pulled him up by the elbow. 

"No, Cas. Tonight I want to fuck you," he whispered. 

He pushed Cas toward one of the beds and forced him down on his hands and knees. He reached around and undid his pants, pushing them down around his knees then went to work. His tongue found Cas' hole and encircled it. After a while Dean pulled back and undid his own pants, letting them fall to his ankles. Cas turned to take Dean in his mouth. His mouth filled with saliva and Dean shivered as a little spit escaped Cas' mouth and slid down his balls. While Cas sucked him Dean reached over his back and pushed a finger inside of Cas. Then a second finger. And then Cas was turning back around spreading his legs as far as he could. Dean stepped up to the bed and pressed himself into Cas. 

He was girthier than anyone Cas had been with but after a while Cas' muscles started relaxing. Dean's length was perfect, though and it wasn't long before Cas was resisting the urge to scream. Dean's finger tips dug into Cas' shoulder and he struggled to keep his thrusting even. Then, with the slight buck of Cas' hips it was all over and Dean came deep inside him. Dean helped Cas stand then sank to his knees and began sucking. Cas came faster than Dean thought possible.

A few minutes later Dean was leaning against the wall outside the bathroom waiting for Cas to finish cleaning himself up. Gabe spotted Dean and approached him. He had a shit eating grin on his face as he raised his eyebrows. 

"He never could hold his liquor." 

"Nah, it's not that," Dean crossed his arms.

"So, what? You two are gonna be shoved so far up each other's asses now neither of you will ever see the sun again?" 

Dean laughed internally at the irony in Gabe's analogy. "Look, man. What's your problem?" 

"Listen you pompous ass, Cas has been in love with you since he laid eyes on you. I know your type, you'll ruin him. Despite how it may seem I really care about him like he were my own blood." 

"I don't know what you think you know," Dean pointed a finger at Gabriel. "But don't speak about things you know nothing about." 

Cas exited the bathroom to find the two squabbling. 

"What's going on?" 

"I'm just looking out for you, bro." Gabriel pushed past Cas toward the bathroom. 

Cas rolled his eyes. "I'm sorry about them." 

"Its okay. I'm glad you got people like them watching your back." 

As they turned Cas came face to face with Meg. 

"Clarence, it's been a while, I was starting to think you'd forgotten about me -" she cut herself off as she saw the subtle hand holding between Cas and Dean. 

"I'm Meg," she held out her hand to Dean. 

"Dean." 

"Ah, you're the Dean." 

Cas blushed. 

"I guess. And you are?" 

"Just a friend of Cas…" she winked. 

"What are you doing here, Meg? Didn't think frats were your thing." 

"They're not, I came with a… friend. They're her thing." 

Cas nodded. 

"Well, anyway, better get back to her." Meg said and disappeared. 

"You have some intense friends." Dean observed on their way back down stairs.


	10. I'm not him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some kinky play ends with bad memories.   
> *slight tw for abuse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one can convince me John Winchester did not abuse Dean.

Cas was laying on the bed with Dean's hand around his throat. He wanted to ask Dean for more but clearly he was struggling with just the minimal amount of roughness Cas had asked for. 

It was true, Dean couldn't tighten his fingers any more. He kept thinking about how it felt when John… 

No. He shook the thoughts from his mind. 

Cas turned over onto his knees. Dean knew what he wanted and pulled back his hand giving Cas a little tap. 

"Harder," Cas moaned. 

Dean did the same movement but with slightly more force.

"Harder, Dean." 

Then he swung, full force. The crack of his hand on Cas' skin flooded him with memories.

"No." Dean backed away, crashing into the dresser. 

Cas turned, "Dean?" 

Dean was shaking his head, reaching for something stable. Things were falling off the dresser onto the floor. Cas stood and went to him. 

"Dean!" 

"I'm not him. I'm… I'm not…" 

"No, no. You're not him. Shh." Cas held him, "you're not him. I'm sorry. It's okay, Dean."


	11. Try new things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean discovers a new fetish of Cas' and wants to try it out.

"Dean," Cas called from the kitchen. "I'm taking out the trash!"

"Alright!" 

Dean had just gotten out of the shower and was feeling some type of way. He noticed Cas' phone on the sink and grabbed it, opening a web browser. He started to type in 'por' and the link popped up. What Dean didn't notice was the extra characters after the '.com' so instead of going to the homescreen like he expected it went to a very specific video that Cas had apparently watched… more than a few times. He clicked play and watched as a man in a diaper danced around, grabbing his front. Dean looked between his legs and shrugged. Not something he thought would be sexy, but hey, fetishes can sprout up out of nowhere, apparently. 

Cas was just coming back in as Dean was leaving the bathroom. 

"Hey man, I wanna ask you something," Dean tossed the phone to Cas. "Is that something you wanna try?" 

Cas looked at his phone. His dirty little secret had been discovered. 

"I… uh… maybe." A deep scarlet rose over his face. 

"Okay," was all Dean said and walked away. 

Three days later Dean came home from work with a brown box in his hands. Cas was on the couch reading over an anatomy book and making flashcards. 

He looked up, briefly. 

"You order something?" 

"Just a little surprise."

Dean carried the box to the kitchen and sliced through the tape with his pocket knife. He pulled out a small package labeled 'little for big' and held them behind his back. He went to Cas and showed him the package. 

"I thought we could try only if you want to I mean I don't want to make you do anything you aren't comfortable with and I did some research it's a personal preference but these got good ratings," Dean was rambling. "I just can't stop thinking about that video and how it would drive me crazy to see you do that." 

Cas blushed and wordlessly took the package, retreating to his room. He came back a few minutes later with the diaper on under his clothes. 

"I don't have to, y'know. Felt silly sitting out here without clothes for now." 

Dean nodded. "Well, I'm gonna shower up." 

He took his time in the shower, knowing full well as long as he was in there Cas was outside getting more and more full. 

And he was. He downed 3 glasses of water as soon as he heard the shower turn on then filled up a fourth to bring with him on the couch. He sipped that one more slowly, allowing the liquid to settle. 

Once Dean was cleaned and dressed he grabbed a beer and another glass of water and sat himself on the other side of the couch. Cas took the water and rested his feet in Dean's lap. It wasnt long before Cas started jiggling his feet. Dean withdrew his hand from the newspaper he was reading to set it on Cas' feet. 

Cas smiled at him. "How old are you? Who even reads newspapers anymore?" 

"Hey, someone's gotta keep these businesses alive. Respect the trade." 

Cas rolled his eyes. He went back to studying and absent mindedly finished the water. 

Dean couldn't focus on the words on the page when he knew Cas was right beside him in an adult diaper getting more and more desperate to pee. He was imagining what it would be like, lost in thought. 

"Dean." Cas said firmly. 

Dean snapped to. "Sorry, what?" 

"I said we haven't even gotten to the action." He pointed to where Dean's hand rested on his groin. 

"Sorry," Dean licked his lips. "The anticipation." 

"Savor that, probably won't be much longer." 

Cas put the end of his pen between his teeth and flipped the page of his book.   
Dean set the paper down beside his half drank beer and climbed atop Cas, pushing the textbook to the ground. 

"Ugh. Dean." Cas groaned. 

"Will you take your pants off?" 

"Will you?" 

Dean made quick work of removing his pants. "Now you." 

Cas was still a little shy about it but he removed his pants. Dean ran his hand over the front, hearing the slight crinkle sound. Cas looked away and blushed. 

"We can stop if you're not cool with this." 

"It's just a little embarrassing." 

Dean smiled and pulled Cas on top of him. 

"Nothing you do could be embarrassing." 

He squeezed Cas and the full weight of Cas' bladder became ever apparent in his own mind. "Dean, you've gotta let go."   
Dean smiled. 

Cas stood in front of him, his shirt just barely touching the top of the diaper. He started stepping from foot to foot, his need very apparent. 

"Dean," he whined. 

"Go ahead, honey." 

Dean had never called him a pet name before and it felt kind of warm to hear it. But he couldn't dwell on the feeling for too long because soon another type of pleasure took over. 

A loud hiss came from the diaper and Dean's eyes widened as he watched the material expand and turn yellowish.

It wasn't necessarily the diaper that got Dean off, but the vulnerability of Cas doing it right in front of him, that it was a dirty little secret, and that he knew how good the relief must feel. 

Cas turned his head, cheeks becoming more and more red. But Dean's fingers found Cas' sensitive thighs and gave him shivers. His body took over, forcing out any emotions he was having.


	12. 8/10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas engage in some flirty texting and naughty behavior.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends, thanks for everyone who leaves Kudos!! I really just write this stuff for me but I'm glad to know I'm not the only one getting off on this >.<   
> Anyway, if there's ever anything you'd like me to try my hand at (kink wise) drop a comment and I'll try my best.

How's work?

Busy… can't stop thinking about you ;) how are you doing? 

Decent… for now. Balthazar's coming. Text later.

Cas looked over his shoulder and locked his phone as Balthazar approached. 

"Cassie. How are you today, sweetheart?"  
"Fine," Cas flipped his phone over on the desk.  
"Something to hide?"  
"No, just, class is about to start."  
"Hmm." 

Cas' phone buzzed several times throughout the lecture. Every time it vibrated on the table he would get dirty looks from the professor. 

Cas put the phone in his lap and tried to covertly check his messages. They were all from Dean, some naughty ones, mostly asking for a progress report. 

Starting to get there.

Class ended and the professor asked Cas to stay behind. Cas put his continually buzzing phone in his pocket and slung his bag over his shoulder, making his way down to the front of the lecture hall. 

"Have you got better things to do than pay attention in my class?" 

"No. Sir." 

"Well then, why, pray do tell, was your phone blowing up throughout my lecture. Or was it your pocket vibrator? I mean I know I'm a handsome devil but save it for your wet dreams." 

"I'm sorry sir. It won't happen again." 

"You're right it won't, you moron!" Professor Crowley was known for his talented surgical skills as well as his affinity for yelling. "Now get out of my class."  
Cas ducked out, meeting Balthazar in the hall. 

"Hey, I know you've got thirty minutes before your next class, can I practice a pitch on you for my international business class?" 

"Sure," Cas said reading through Dean's messages and sending one back. 

8/10

They'd read a lot of blogs about this new fetish they were exploring and set safe words. This scale seemed to be common practice. 

They sat at a small round table across from each other. Balthazar began speaking about imports or exports, honestly Cas couldn't pay attention with his growing need and the bathroom not more than five feet away. But he couldn't let on that he needed desperately to go. So he took to crossing and uncrossing his ankles, shifting weight between his hips. 

"Would you stop wiggling about so much? It's very distracting." 

"Sorry I… have a bug bite on my ankle." 

Balthazar continued. Cas was pushing a 9/10 and decided to text Dean. Finally Balthazar checked his watch, "oh. I've got to head over now." 

"Sounds good," Cas assured him. "You'll do great." 

Balthazar nodded a thanks and went on his way. 

He's finally gone. 10/10 and quickly losing grip. Going to the bathroom now. 

;) 

Cas smiled at the fact Dean still didn't know how to use emojis. He positioned himself in front of the mirror and unzipped his pants revealing padding with little safari animals on the front. He took out his phone and snapped a few photos before hearing footsteps approaching the door. 

He was zipping back up when a familiar face walked in. 

"Castiel, is this what I think it is?" 

"N-no…" 

"You're taking dirty pics in a public bathroom mirror. I really should teach you how to take a good nudie. Did you know I was once in porn?" 

"I uh… no I didn't know that. I've actually got to go to class. But tell me about it later." Cas called over his shoulder. 

Caught by Gabe. Got these first. 

He sent the pictures and got one back, an explicit one from the garage's bathroom. 

Cas knew he wouldn't be able to make it to his next class without losing it and wouldn't risk wetting in public. And he didn't want to run into Gabe again after lying about going to class. 

He found an empty classroom and slipped inside, leaving the light off. Cas took out his phone and dialed Dean's number. 

"Hello?" 

"Dean. I'm in an empty room and I can't wait." 

"Hold on." 

Cas could hear Dean moving around then a car door shut. 

"Okay. I'm alone now. You okay?" 

"Not really. I didn't want to do this like this." 

"I know, honey. You can say the word and I won't hold anything against you." 

"No," he hesitated. "It is kind of exciting -" 

"Isn't it?" 

"Besides I couldn't make it anywhere anyway." 

"Where are you?" 

"It's a small computer lab. No one is signed up for this block. I'm all alone. The lights are off. It's really cool in here because of the air conditioning but I'm still sweating." 

"Mmm. You are awesome." 

"I'm on the floor in one corner so I can't be seen from outside. Dean," he said suddenly. "I'm going." 

There was a long silence where the only thing Dean could hear was Cas breathing heavily. Finally, with a sigh, Cas said "I'm done." 

Then Cas checked the time and said "I gotta go," and promptly hung up." 

I'm gonna give it to you good later ;)


	13. Fine tuning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas have some fun at the garage but almost get caught by Sam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's really hard for me to get down Sam's voice. But he's my favorite and I really want him to be part of this from time to time so here's to practice. 
> 
> Also should Sam ever find out about their dirty little secret?

"I'm going to the garage to do a little tune up on Baby. Wanna come?"

"Sure."

Dean unlocked the garage and let Cas inside before hitting the button for the overhead door. Once Baby was pulled in and parked Dean closed the overhead. 

Cas sat watching Dean slide under Baby, occasionally grabbing a tool or two. 

"Hey, Dean. Where's the restroom?" Cas slid off the workbench he had perched himself on.

Dean looked up from under the hood at Cas and smirked. 

"That's not allowed today." 

Cas sighed, not putting up a fight with Dean, because watching Dean work on his car, getting all greasy and sweaty, made Cas really horny. 

"Well, she's mostly done." Dean finally said a while later. 

Cas had taken to standing because sitting was too much pressure. 

"Just a few minor things to finish up. But first," he turned to Cas and got on his knees. 

Cas' belt was then undone and Dean was tugging him out, slipping his lips over Cas. 

"Dean I don't know. I'm around a 9 right now -" 

" 'ts okay." Dean managed to say between licks. 

It really felt amazing. Being so full and very close to orgasm. Cas also was a little self conscious that as soon as Dean got him off he might start peeing.   
But Dean said it was okay. 

But as he was almost about to cum something caught his attention. a head bobbing past the window. 

"Ah, S-Sam." Dean looked hurt. "No. Sam…" Cas continued but the sound of a door latch distracted them. 

It was too late, Cas was pushed too close to the edge to turn back. Thick ropes of white fell to the ground. Dean looked at Cas longingly but stood up as Sam walked in. 

Cas struggled with all his might not to piss himself in front of Sam. Luckily he was on the other side of the car so Sam hadn't seen any of the dirty parts. 

What Sam did see was Cas standing, red faced on the side of the car and Dean pop up in front of him. 

"Sorry," Cas heard Sam say to Dean. "Am I interrupting something?" 

"Nope. No. Just a little fine tuning… uh baby."

Sam stifled a laugh. 

"Bobby said I could find you here." 

"What's up?" Dean wiped his hands on a rag. 

Cas was still standing in the same spot, rigid and awkward. 

"What's with him?" 

"Nothing he's just… stressed about an exam." 

"I feel that. That's actually why I'm here. I have a test for a class that I can't make it to because of work. They agreed to let me take it at another time at a designated center. It's near your place. Could I crash there for the night before?" 

"Sure. Yeah. You know you could have called." 

"Yeah well, it's been a while since we've hung out so I thought maybe I'd come out and watch you work, like old times."

Cas was in excruciating pain. He couldn't move or let on his need. 

"Hey, Dean, have you seen my book on Poughkeepsie?" 

"I think you left it on the table by the restroom, down the hall, to the right." 

"Ah, yes. Thanks."

Cas left hurriedly, once out of sight he grabbed himself, sweet mercy it felt so good. Too good. He started to leak before reaching the door. Maybe it wasn't noticeable. 

He tugged at his zipper and whipped himself out before even reaching the urinal, spraying a bit of piss on the floor in the process.

Cas mopped up the bathroom floor with some paper towels and washed up. He hoped the little wet spot wasn't too noticeable on his dark jeans. 

"So what's up?" Dean asked Sam, leaning against the impala. 

"Is it that obvious?" 

"I am your big brother." 

Sam sighed. "Jess was accepted into this amazing law program in Glasgow." 

"Well that's good, isn't it?" Dean began busying himself with cleaning the tools, putting them each in a specific place. 

"Yeah. It's just… it's a full semester next spring. And I'll be here. I actually got placed in a temp position at an office near you guys. She said she'd turn it down if I wanted her to stay." 

"Do you?" 

"Yeah. Of course. But this is such a good opportunity for her. I don't… I don't want to hold her back." 

"Have you told her any of this?" 

"Not yet. I just wanted to get sorted out first. Anyway, what's up with you? You seem good." 

"I am," Dean smiled. "Really good." 

Cas could hear Sam and Dean as he rounded the corner, staying out of sight for a few minutes. 

"I'm thinking of asking him to move in." 

"Dude, you already live together." 

"I mean into my room. You know, sleeping together every night, the whole shebang." 

"Don't you already do that?" 

"Well, yeah, but make it official, y'know?" 

Sam smiled at Dean. 

"What?" 

"Oh, nothing. I just never thought I'd see you so soft," Sam laughed. 

Dean grabbed Sam around the neck and ruffled his hair. 

Cas came back into the garage to see the two of them play wrestling. They stopped when they saw him but Sam gave Dean a shove, "jerk." 

Dean swatted at Sam's hand and returned with a "bitch." 

Cas smiled, watching them. He did love to see Dean and Sam getting along so well. It made Dean happy, so it made him happy too. 

"Where's your book?" 

"Oh, uh, I couldn't find it." 

"Maybe a ghost moved it," Sam teased, waggling his fingers to insinuate something spooky. 

"Alright, get outta here," Dean nodded at Sam. "I'm not trying to spend my whole day off in here." 

Sam started loping off toward the door with a wave. 

"And talk to Jessica!" Dean called after him. 

"Is everything okay?" Cas asked after Sam had exited. 

"Yeah, he's just being Sam. Is everything okay with you? Sorry about all that." 

"I'm good. The bathroom got an extra cleaning, but I'm okay." 

Dean moved in real close to Cas, "will you tell me all about it when we get home?" 

Cas smiled and nodded, grabbing Dean's ass for extra effect.


	14. Make it last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean prolongs Cas' pleasure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know we open with Sam and Jess because even though I started writing this just for my own smutty fantasies I accidentally developed a plot along the way ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Sam and Jess talked and talked and, honestly, it was beginning to feel like that was all they’d ever do forever. 

“Sam,” she finally said, with a sigh. “I’ve been with you since freshman year.”

“Why are you making that sound like a bad thing?” 

“It’s not. I just -- I mean, I came to college to learn to be independent. But I haven’t been.”

“So what is it you want, Jess?” 

“I just want to take a break.” 

“So what? You want to break off the engagement?” 

“No. I just want to go to Glasgow and learn and work. And when the girls at the office want to go out I want to go guilt free.” 

“Is this about sleeping with other people?” 

“It’s not just about that, Sam. It’s about long distance being hard and lonely. I want to be engaged to you and marry you and have a family with you. But first, I think I need to know that I could make it on my own. All I’m asking, is that you let me go to this program and you go to your new job and we have fun for the next 12 weeks, whatever that means for us, and when I come home I put the ring back on my finger forever, and we get married next summer, just like we planned.” 

Sam still didn’t understand why Jess wanted this. But she did, and he wanted to make this work. If that meant that she slept with the whole law firm when she was gone but came back to him at the end of it and settled down then so be it. Afterall it was that endgame that he wanted, regardless of the road to getting there. 

Sam had never considered himself jealous or possessive of his girlfriends, and because of that and the fact that he loved Jess, he agreed to her terms. On one condition. 

“Don’t sleep with Dean.” 

Jess laughed as if it were a joke. 

He felt good saying goodbye to Jess at the airport, knowing that he only had to last 12 weeks without her. Some of that time would be spent with Dean and Cas anyway. 

** 

Cas was carefully moving his clothes into the space Dean cleared for him in his drawers and closet. 

“Is Sam coming tonight?” 

“Not sure…” Dean said from the bed where he lay reading a magazine. “Why? You guys bffs now?” 

“Well, Sam and I have gotten to know each other quite well recently. I do enjoy his company.” 

“Castiel,” Dean put emphasis on the last syllable. “Do you have a crush on my brother?”

Cas blushed. “No,” he defended. 

Dean got up and crossed the room, pressing Cas into the wall. “What is it?” he asked, biting Cas’ lower lip. “Is it that he’s tall? Big? He’s got those big man hands -”

“Dean!” Cas shoved him off. “Stop. I don’t feel that way about anyone else.” 

Dean smirked, he did so love getting under Cas’ skin. Partially because he knew he could, but partially because stoking those fires made Cas more aggressive. And even though 

Dean loved Cas all needy and desperate for him, he also liked the challenge Cas posed when he was feeling assertive. 

Dean sank to his knees and pulled Cas’ soft cock out of his pants. He made quick work of wrapping his lips around Cas, wanting to savor the feeling of Cas getting hard in his mouth. 

“Dean,” Cas’ protests slowly faded to a pleasured cry. 

Dean went on like that for a while but removed his mouth before Cas came. Cas let out a strangled protest at losing the warm wet walls of Dean’s mouth. Dean stood then, coming face to face with Cas and said, cheerily, “Sammy is gonna be here any minute now.” Then he leaned in and whispered in Cas’ ear, “don’t even think about taking care of yourself. I’ll deal with it later.” He slapped Cas on the butt before leaving the room. 

Cas was frustrated -- just how Dean wanted him, just how he wanted to be. Cas loved a power struggle, he liked being bossed and told what to do by Dean. At first Dean wasn’t comfortable with it, but they’d learned to mingle what Cas liked and What Dean liked into something they were both quite fond of. And it almost always came down to teasing Cas, denying him pleasure to prolong the fun. 

Cas folded himself away in his pants and continued the monotonous task of moving his stuff to Dean’s room. He hoped it would help take his mind off his raging erection straining against its cotton prison. He heard Sam come in and greet Dean, then watched as he brought his bags into what was formerly Cas’ room. Damn Dean for getting him all worked up, he could barely speak coherently to Sam. 

“Who’s taking care of Bones while you’re here?” 

“Oh, uh, our new neighbor. Her name is Charlie. She’s pretty cool, you guys will get to meet her next family dinner.” 

Sam was laying out some very professional looking clothes. 

Dean appeared in the doorway, leaning against the jamb. “What’s with the monkey suit?”

“Well, it is a professional workplace,” Sam cleared his throat. “I also have a black tie meet and greet tonight. It’s just the firm’s way of welcoming new temps and interns.”

“How long will you be gone?” 

“I dunno,” Sam said, holding up a few different pocket squares, trying to decide. “Maybe a few hours.” 

“Perfect,” Dean whispered. 

Cas walked past Sam and pointed to his choice for the pocket square, eliciting a thanks from the tall man. 

In the kitchen Dean made sure to brush his ass a little too close to his boyfriend’s crotch. Cas, feeling sensitive from Dean’s earlier teasing pulled quickly away. 

Finally Sam was ready for his meet and greet, decked out and looking very lawyerish. Cas fussed over him for a few moments, brushing lint from Sam’s sleeve and hyping him up. Dean smiled as he watched their interaction. 

“Sammy, are you blushing?” Dean took a long haul off his beer. 

“No,” his brother smiled down at the floor. “Shut up.”

Cas backed off, not wanting to make Sam uncomfortable. “Good luck,” he held out his hand for Sam to shake. 

Sam gave Cas the signature Winchester half smirk and shook his hand. 

“Careful Sam. The last person to look at Cas like that got laid.” Dean laughed at himself, receiving only a glare from the other two. 

“Right, well. Don’t wait up.” 

They didn’t plan on it. Once Sam was gone Dean beckoned Cas to the couch with his finger. 

“Hey gorgeous,” he said when Cas settled in beside him. 

He didn’t respond, tired of Dean’s antics and a little irritated from getting brought so close earlier with no release. Cas crossed his arms. 

“Oh, now don’t be like that.” Dean kissed up Cas’ neck. 

Cas had the right mind to push Dean away but then his hand found Cas’ groin and started rubbing over his pants. Cas moaned into Dean’s open mouthed kiss. Growing closer with every rough movement. Then, mercilessly, Dean stopped again. He mounted Cas rolling his hips slightly. The friction started getting Cas all worked up, then Dean would raise his hips off of Cas. 

That went on for hours before Dean finally dragged Cas off to bed, where he demanded his own pleasure first. Cas begrudgingly took Dean in his mouth and sucked him off quickly. When he had swallowed the last of Dean’s thick cum he stood face to face with the Winchester, not saying anything. 

“Damn, Cas, where’s the fire?” 

“Dean,” Cas began but instead of coming out powerful like he wanted it sounded more like a plea. 

“That’s what we like,” Dean whispered, nibbling on Cas’ ear. “Beg me for it.” 

Cas sighed. 

Dean reached his hand into Cas’ pants and took hold firmly of his aching cock. “You see, I’ve been teasing you the better part of the day. And I know you don’t want to cum from just my hand rubbing you off dry. So why don’t you beg me for it Cas?” 

Cas was starting to feel better, after all this was what he’d wanted from Dean all along. After the weeks they spent building up to it Dean was finally giving in to Cas’ deepest fantasy. 

Dean pressed his tongue, broad and flat, to the sensitive area just behind Cas’ ear and he positively melted. 

“Dean,” he panted into a sloppy kiss. “Dean, hng, fuck me.” He reeled at the loss of Dean’s hand but then his clothes were being pulled off and he heard the slick sound of Dean lubing up Cas’ favorite dildo. 

“Shouldn’t have asked me to get you off first,” Cas teased, biting Dean’s nipple. 

Dean pushed Cas onto his back on the bed and slid on top of him, working the tapered dildo into Cas’ hole. He listened for the breath to hitch just right, telling him he’d hit that sweet spot. Then he wiggled the toy around inside, making sure the wide circles he made with the tip always brushed Cas’ prostate. Dean had smeared some lube onto Castiel for later use, but Cas couldn’t wait and began thrusting up to meet Dean’s hip. Dean was pulling the length of the dildo all the way out before pressing it back in at the perfect angle. 

Cas could barely see anymore, everything blurred with ecstasy and pleasure. He was calling out Dean’s name, practically screaming. A few more thrusts would prove enough to completely send him over the edge. But he felt a hand come up and clamp on his mouth. 

“Shh.” Dean hushed him as they heard the front door shut. 

Cas stilled and looked defeated, he was almost there. With one look, Dean flashed him his bright smile. 

“I didn’t say you had to stop,” he whispered. “Just keep the screaming to a minimum.” 

Cas continued thrusting up against Dean’s smooth skin and within 15 seconds he was shooting ropes of cum all over him and Dean. He wanted to cry out but bit it back, taking in a shuddering breath instead. 

Dean cleaned them off with an old t-shirt and climbed back into bed to cuddle with Cas. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he said after kissing every conceivable spot on his shoulders. 

Dean always made sure to tell Cas that after he had been even the slightest bit rough or demanding. 

Cas only smiled and curled himself into Dean, feeling his attitude fading after finally getting the relief he was so desperate for.


	15. Night out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas comes clean about Levi after a night out goes awry. But it ends desperate and wet, the only way Cas and Dean know how to end a night.

“Cassie,” Balthazar interrupted Castiel’s studying. 

“It’s a wonder I can even get anything done with everyone around me so determined to interrupt,” he replied agitated. 

“Sorry. I just -- we just wanted to apologize for how we’ve treated Dean. Things seem to be getting pretty serious between you two and we want to make it up to you. Let us take you both out for drinks?” 

“Fine. But can Sam come? He’s staying the night since he gets out of work really late.” 

“Sure. The more the merrier.” 

****

Dean noticed the shift in Castile's face. It was subtle but he knew something was definitely wrong. He followed his gaze to someone in the corner of the bar. 

"Cas?" He felt Cas' body go rigid. "That's him?" 

Cas didn't say anything but Dean knew. 

"That son of a bitch." Dean took the rest of his whiskey down and got up off the bar stool. 

"Dean," Cas reached out trying to stop him. 

But Dean was already in motion. 

The other three noted the sudden disturbance. Sam reached Dean just before he cocked his elbow back. 

"Dean, what the hell?" 

"This guy… he… Cas…" Dean wasn't making any sense. 

"He what Dean?" 

"He did something to him." 

Cas and Gabe and Balthazar were standing behind Dean, ready to interfere. But then Cas watched Sam do something he never imagined. 

It happened in a flash. Sam drew back and clocked the guy right in the jaw, then, shaking out his hand, he grabbed Dean and ushered the others out. 

They walked silently for a while toward the apartment. Dean held Cas a little too tightly around the waist. Sam walked ahead, his large shoulders brooding and pensive. Gabe and Balthazar exchanged curious glances but didn't dare say anything. 

Finally Sam stopped and turned to them. He put a hand on Cas' shoulder, "are you okay?"

The dark haired man nodded. 

"Someone care to explain what's going on?" Balthazar finally interjected. 

Cas finally came clean. He told them about their night out and about Levi, and as they listened they all walked, ending at a diner called Biggersons. 

Sam had no idea how bad it was. He thought maybe Levi had picked a fight with Cas or maybe tried to start something or bullied him in some way. But hearing every gruelling detail of what happened to his friend, watching Dean's face as he felt every word Cas spoke, it was eye opening. Dean loved Cas and more than that he had become a really good friend to Sam. And Sam didn't let these things happen to his friends. He had every intention of turning around and finishing what he started. But he didn't. 

"Why didn't you tell us?" Gabriel finally asked. 

"I was embarrassed. It's not something I'm proud of." 

"But it isn't a choice you made, it was something that happened to you." 

"I made the choice to go out, to get that drunk, to go somewhere alone knowing full well what could happen. You guys don't understand, it feels weak, degrading, I was tricked." 

Gabe didn't know how to respond. 

"We respect your choice to keep this to yourself, Cas. But I wish you would have come to us. We could have done something that night -"

"Don't you see? I didn't want that. I didn't want to need you watching over me or fighting my battles."

They dropped it and entered the diner. Inside Michael and Luci and few of the other guys from the frat were seated at a table. They spotted the group and Luci got up. 

"Cassie, what brings you here? Another busy night striking out at the gay bars?" 

Everyone was still feeling raw from Cas' story and each of them was ready to jump the next guy who so much as looked at Cas the wrong way. 

He sensed the tension behind him but held up his hands. 

"We were just -" 

But a waitress came over, interrupting them. 

"The big booth in the corner is empty, if you're staying." Cas pulled them away, Dean gripping his hand as they left. 

The brunette waitress dropped off a stack of menus before going back to the other table. She was clearly flirting with Luci. She came back briefly to take their orders. 

“I’ll just have a coffee, black,” Sam said. 

Cas and Dean both ordered a burger, at least Dean finally had someone to match his affinity for fast food. Balthazar passed on the food, ordering only water, and Gabe picked something out of the dessert cooler. 

“Oh, and,” Dean looked at the name tag, “Ruby, is it? Those guys over there are kind of dicks. You could do way better.” 

She smiled plainly and whisked away. 

Cas was thankful when the conversation took a different route instead of returning to Levi. He listened as Balthazar told Sam about London and the best places Jess should check out in her free time. And while Gabriel and Dean normally didn’t get along it seemed they were both making a valiant effort. They could have easily gotten along, Cas thought, they had the same distaste for arrogant, pompous, douche-bags, as they had both put it, but they each saw those qualities in each other. 

Dean noticed Cas bouncing his leg profusely throughout the conversation and gently laid his hand on Cas’ knee. Cas smiled up at him apologetically. Normally he’d ask if Cas was okay but he didn’t want to embarrass him. They got their orders and the conversation continued fairly easily. But when they decided it was time to leave Ruby was nowhere to be found with their check. 

Cas decided to take the opportunity to sneak away to the restroom. But as he opened the door he caught a glimpse of Ruby on the sink, dress hiked up, and Luci in front of her with his pants around his ankles. 

He hoped they hadn’t seen him. He rushed back to the table, throwing down a wad of cash and saying “we need to go.” 

No one really questioned it because Cas didn’t give them the option. He was out the front door before any of them had even stood. Dean ran after him and caught up on the sidewalk out front. 

“Hey, you okay?” 

Cas nodded and the others burst out the door. “I saw… Our waitress and Luci…” Cas was flustered. But then everyone else laughed and it lightened the mood. He chuckled at the thought. “If he saw me, I’m dead.” 

“You’re dead? Do you know the kind of crap he’ll get for hooking up with a waitress in the bathroom?” Gabe patted Cas on the shoulder. 

They started out for the walk home. In all the commotion Cas had almost forgotten he needed to pee but now, as they settled into the walk, his need pressed itself into the front of his mind. He tried to keep his pace even, not wanting to draw any attention to himself but sweat was starting to bead up on his forehead. When they reached the frat house Cas thought to ask to use the restroom but he decided he could wait until they got home. It wasn’t much further and besides, they had parked the impala at the house and since Sam had barely drank anything he was fine to drive it the rest of the way home. Dean opened the rear door for Cas and, as Cas slipped in Dean noticed his subtle posturing. 

Every move Cas made on the way home seemed amplified to Dean. He thought back to the first time this had happened in the car, on their way home from Sam’s. Damn Sam for being here to ruin this perfect situation. 

When they pulled into the parking lot Dean handed his keys to Sam. “Let yourself in, I wanna talk to Cas for a minute.” 

Cas looked at Dean’s face, panicked, but he couldn’t say anything with Sam right there.

Dean watched as Sam disappeared into their building then turned to Cas. “Gotta go pretty bad?” 

“Dean.” Cas’ voice was urgent. “This is no joke, Dean.” 

Cas had his thighs pressed tightly together. 

"It's been since the diner?" 

"Before. I couldn't go there, Ruby and…" 

"Oh right." Dean didn't look at Cas, he just kept his eyes forward, his tone cool. 

"Dean, I really gotta go. I can't hold it." 

"There's a towel under the seat. Put it on the ground and kneel on it. Do not get any on my seats." 

Dean heard some rustling in the back seat as Cas slid off the seat and onto the towel. Then he heard Cas playing at his belt. 

"Leave it on." Dean reprimanded. 

"But what if Sam -" 

"Sam won't see. He'll already be asleep." 

"Gah. Dean. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." 

Dean touched himself through his pants, listening to Cas make desperate noises behind him.


	16. Almost lost it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a short thing for fun

Dean may have miscalculated how long he could last when he told Cas he'd resist going to the bathroom throughout work and come home nice and desperate. He was so close now, though, he could make it the few more feet to his apartment. But Dean's hope quickly faded as he met Lisa just inside the building's door. 

"Dean," she looked up from sorting her mail. "How are you? It's been a while." 

"Oh, yeah. I'm good. Just busy…. With work and stuff…. Personal stuff…" Dean danced around her so he was closer to the stairs. 

"Oh. Well it was good to see you. Don't be such a stranger." 

Finally Dean was in the clear he nodded and turned to leave but Lisa stopped him again. 

"Oh, and, Dean?" 

"Yes?" He looked up at her from the step he was on. 

"Would you mind if Ben came and hung out with you for a few hours tomorrow? I've got some errands to run and I just feel bad leaving him alone all the time."

"Yeah. Yeah, of course. It's no problem. Just send him on down." 

She smiled then turned and went up the flight of stairs to her apartment. 

Dean practically ran down the stairs, as fast as he could without losing control anyway, and threw open the apartment door. 

Cas was in the kitchen watching a pot of water boil when Dean burst in. Cas turned, leaning against the counter and Dean went immediately to him, pressing their bodies close together. Dean buried his face in Cas' neck and sealed his groin to Cas' hip. 

"Oh, God. I almost lost it out there." 

Then Cas felt a warmth spreading over his leg as Dean moaned into his ear. 

The pee quickly soaked through the front of Dean's pants and into a spot on Cas' pants, running down Dean's left leg and into a puddle on the floor. 

Dean rocked his hips against Cas a little, moaning his name. He sounded so needy, so small.


	17. Dean Winchester babysitting service

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean offers to hang out with Ben while Castiel makes a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New character alert!   
> I absolutely adore Jack.   
> There is no smut, I've really gotten off track.

As much as Dean pretended to be a tough guy he really loved kids. So he was fairly stoked to see Ben knock on his door. His relationship with Lisa was complicated – especially now, but his relationship with Ben was effortless. They were just two guys hanging out, playing video games or working in the Impala. 

Cas didn't mind Ben much, though he often felt slightly uncomfortable around kids. But he guessed at 13 Ben wasn't technically a kid anymore. After being interrupted 10 thousand times Cas decided to take his book outside. He was sitting in the grass reading about feline anatomy when he was approached by a boy about Ben's age. He'd seen the boy walking around the yard looking up at the clouds and trees but hadn't paid him much mind. 

"I like your book," the boy said. 

"Thanks," Cas responded, closing the book with his finger saving his page. 

"I'm Jack. I just moved in upstairs." The boy held out his hand. 

"Castiel," he took Jack's hand. 

Jack sat down beside Cas and looked more closely at the book cover. 

"It's zoological anatomy and physiology." Cas told him as if that would mean something. 

Jack just smiled and nodded. 

"I'm in college studying biology and psychology. Couldn't decide which animals were my favorite, I guess." 

Jack chuckled a little. 

"Did you know," Cas opened the book back up. "A cat's penis is sharply barbed along its shaft? Don't think the females were consulted beforehand." 

Cas continued reading to Jack, enjoying the simple company of having someone beside him while he studied – someone who was actually interested in what he was saying. 

"Psst. Cas." Dean called out the window. "Lunch time." 

Cas rolled his eyes and closed the book. "You home alone?" He asked Jack. 

"Yeah. My mom's at work. It's just her and I." 

"Do you want some lunch?" 

"Sure. That'd be nice." 

Jack smiled a lot, Cas observed. 

He brought Jack inside and introduced him to Dean and Ben. They all ate together, Dean asked Jack a lot of questions about his mom and her work. After lunch Ben went back to playing a video game. Jack sat on the couch behind Ben and watched while Cas and Dean did the dishes. 

"You ever think about having kids?" Dean asked, drying off a plate. 

"It wasn't ever really an option for me." Cas responded, swishing his hands around the soapy water. 

"No I mean like raising kids. You know, like Jody and Donna." 

"You mean adoption?" 

"Yeah," Dean shrugged. 

"I don't know. I've never been good with kids. Plus I'm in school and it would certainly complicate things. You have to be more careful about affections." 

Dean chuckled. I don't mean right now, but like some day in the future." 

"Maybe." Cas smiled at Dean because nothing would make him happier than to see Dean as a father. 

"Now what about being careful with affections?" Dean teased, wrapping his arms around Cas and nuzzling his neck. 

"Dean, that's not what I meant." 

Dean knew full well what Cas meant. He was talking about the kinky shit they got up to. 

They were interrupted by a knock at the door. Dean opened it to see Lisa standing there waiting for Ben. 

"Hey, Ben. Mom's here." 

Cas smiled at Lisa as he dried his hands on a towel. She returned the gesture then ushered Ben out the door with a passing thanks. 

"Do you want to try?" Dean asked Jack when he saw him studying the game controller. 

"I don't know… I've never tried before." 

"You've never played a video game before?" 

Jack shook his head. 

"Well here, let me show you." 

Dean walked Jack through an easy tutorial and Cas sat back at the table and watched. Soon, though, Jack's phone started ringing. 

"Mom, hey!" 

"Tell her to come down," Dean whispered. "We'd love to meet her." 

Jack told his mom the apartment number and she hurried down to meet him. 

"I'm so sorry, has he been here long?" 

"No, just since lunch." Dean confirmed. 

"Mom, this is Castiel. I saw him reading outside and then he invited me for lunch. I met someone else named Ben. And this is Dean. He showed me how to play a game on the tv." 

She smiled down at Jack. "Honey, you can't just invite yourself into strangers' lives." 

"It was really no trouble," Dean assured her. "Our friend's kid was hanging out down here for a bit while she was running some errands." 

"Plus," Cas interjected, "it was nice to have someone actively interested in what I was studying." He eyed Dean with a little jest.

The woman smiled warmly at them. "Thanks so much for being such gracious hosts. Oh. And, uh my name's Kelly. Kelly Kline. We just moved in upstairs a few days ago, haven't really had the chance to meet anyone, been so busy with work. It's good to know there's people around to entertain Jack. It was Dean and…" 

"Castiel, but most people call me Cas." 

She shook both their hands. "Pleasure."


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie makes a new friend in an unusual way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started writing this with the intention of it being just a Charlie one shot but then I read up on popular Charlie ships and found Charvelle and fell in love and now I'm going to be peppering in this relationship and some very public kinky situations in relation.

Charlie really should have peed before leaving her DnD group. She knew that now but hindsight was 2020 considering she was already halfway home. She could make it, she told herself despite her agonizingly heavy bladder aching with every bump she hit. Her position on the bike wasn't helping either. What she would give to be able to cross her legs or at least press her thighs together. 

Finally she was around the corner, her home was within view. She ground her slit down against the seat willing herself to hold on just that much longer. 

She pulled into the driveway and hopped off, shifting from leg to leg thankful for finally being able to press them together. As she hustled toward her door she heard barking at the next door over. 

"Shoot," she stammered. "Bones." 

Okay, she could do this. Just get inside Sam's house, let Bones into the yard, and use Sam's toilet. 

She got the first part done relatively smooth, but Bones kept knocking into her making it almost impossible to hold. She shoved a hand between her legs and pressed it to her crotch. The sliding door to the yard was hard to pull but she finally pried it open. But Bones wouldn't go out. He just stood there looking at her. She rolled her eyes and stepped onto the patio, calling him out. Eventually he hopped out the door and ran off into the yard. 

"Thank god." Charlie whispered, a little too soon. As she turned to the door a spurt escaped her. It was a fairly long leak and she struggled to regain control. 

"No. No. No. Okay. Charlie. You got this." The next step was too much for her tired bladder and it started to give way. She couldn't just stand on her neighbor's patio and wet her pants so she hobbled into the grass, ripped her pants down, and sat in the grass. The warm liquid pooled around her before absorbing into the earth. She could hear the hiss as her stream shot out of her. It felt so good. Nothing felt like this. The relief, the freedom, the grass tickling her. 

She collected herself and, after looking around to make sure no one was out next door, stood and pulled her pants back up. She would never say anything about what happened here, or so she thought. 

But hearing a sniffle from the door made her whole body burn red. She turned to see Jo standing there, eyes puffy, red nosed. Charlie swallowed hard and tried to speak but her mouth was dry. 

"I - I -" she sputtered. 

"Don't worry," Jo folded a tissue in her hands. "I won't tell anyone." 

"What are you doing here anyway?" 

"Sam told me I could stay the night here. I needed some time alone." 

Charlie smiled sympathetically. "Wanna talk about it?" 

"Not really."

"Wanna drink about it?" Charlie pulled a bottle of wine from her bag. "I was gonna drink half a bottle, read some fanfic and go to sleep alone." 

Jo chuckled, "sure." 

Charlie followed Jo into Sam's living room with Bones close behind. 

A few hours later the bottle was nearly empty. Jo and Charlie had laughed and cried and talked about relationship issues and bad dates. 

"I would say switch to women," Charlie began. "But then it's not always easier." 

"Don't think I haven't thought of it. I just never really had any chance… you know." 

"If life doesn't give you a chance sometimes you have to make it for yourself." 

Charlie turned the bottle upside down trying to nurse the last few drops into her glass. When she looked back Jo was looking at her. She chewed on her bottom lip and moved in close to Charlie. 

"What are you doing?" 

"Making it for myself." 

Then Jo pressed her lips to Charlie's. Her fingers found the red head's hair and played at the nape of her neck. 

Charlie pulled Jo onto her lap running her hands the length of the blonde's thighs, then up her sides. She grabbed at Jo's shirt, tugging it over her head. They broke apart momentarily as Jo returned the favor and removed Charlie's shirt. After letting their eyes slide over each other they connected again, this time with more force. Charlie's hands found Jo's bra and unhooked it, letting it fall off her arms, then allowed her hands to explore the girl's body. Jo followed suit, mimicking Charlie's movements since she seemed to outrank Jo in experience. Suddenly Charlie pushed Jo off her then started working on her belt and pants.

Once Jo was completely disrobed Charlie knelt in front of her and ran her tongue along Jo's thigh before moving between her legs. 

The feeling of Charlie's tongue on her clit made Jo feel weak in the knees. Was this what she was missing all these years? Jo reached again for Charlie's hair, burying her fingers in it and lightly tugging at some of the strands. Charlie snaked a hand into her own pants and played with herself while her tongue explored Jo. Soon Jo's legs were shaking. A small burst of sweet, warm liquid flooded Charlie's mouth and she knew she'd done her job. 

Charlie leaned back on the couch, hand still in her pants stimulating herself. Jo stood for a moment looking at Charlie before decidedly reaching for her pants and removing them. She knelt in front of the couch and tentatively put her mouth over the other girl's mound. Using a combination of licking and sucking based on how much Charlie sounded like she was enjoying it Jo finally got into a decent rhythm. She'd never known a woman could taste so good. And she must have done something right because several small tremors wracked Charlie's body shortly after she started. 

Afterward they lay together on the couch, naked and panting. 

"Sorry if I wasn't any good," Jo said breathlessly. "I don't have any experience." 

"No," Charlie defended. "You were good." And then after a moment, "so… you're a squirter?" 

"I - I never have… before. I didn't know I could. Sorry if it was -" 

"No. I definitely don't have a problem with it." 

"I never knew it could feel so good." 

"Well that's what happens when you have mediocre sex with mediocre men." 

They both laughed, intertwining their hands.


	19. Chapter 19

Charlie and Jo had been secretly hooking up for a while. They found any excuse to be alone together, house sitting for Sam or Jo telling Ellen and Bobby she was going out with friends just to sneak off with Charlie. On a particularly cool day they decided to sneak off to the woods for a hike. No one would be out, most likely, and they could hold hands and stroll along alone. 

"Hey Charlie?" Jo said halfway through the hike.

"Hmm?" 

"Remember that first night, what I saw you doing?" 

"Yeah…" 

"Well. I kind of… I kinda liked it… I mean seeing you in public like that." 

"You have some kind of public kink?" 

Jo looked down and blushed a bit. Charlie smiled at her, tipping her chin up. "I didn't say that was a bad thing."

Jo had never called it that, it did excite her to have sex in guys' cars in some public parking lot or in the bathroom of the bar, but she hadn't given it a name. It was just exciting, the thought of being caught doing something naughty. It was the same way she felt about being a tease, wearing tight jeans and crop tops to work the bar, having all those guys pine after her but never giving it up. She got off on the power of knowing. 

Charlie looked around, making sure no one was on the trail, then grabbed Jo by the wrist and led her into the thicker brush. 

"I'm glad you said something. I have to pee like a racehorse.” 

She shoved down her pants and, leaning against a fallen tree, spread her legs and let go. Jo felt a flutter in her belly as she approached Charlie, inspecting her companion’s pale, thin legs, knees pointing in opposite directions. Charlie wasn’t kidding, and Jo watched as her glittering golden stream arced up and landed a good distance away. 

Overcome with lust, she brought her own pants to her ankles and took her place beside Charlie. Once the pitter-patter of the remnants of Charlie’s bladder subsided, they began simultaneously playing with themselves. 

Charlie had taught Jo just how to touch and rub in order to get a better orgasm. Jo was the first to submit to her body, choking on the scream that wanted so badly to escape her lips. She relaxed, panting, as the spray of liquid covered the ground below her. 

Upon seeing Jo so wrecked Charlie gave in as well. Shaking and shuddering through the last tremors. 

Once they collected themselves and got back on the trail no one said anything for a long time. Then Jo cleared her throat and asked “so you have some kind of public kink?”   
And before the words had fully left her mouth Charlie cut her off with a curt “yep.”


	20. Another week, another Winchester family dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is on to Jo and Charlie but accidentally neglects Cas during his investigation.   
> He makes it up to him, though.

Another week, another Winchester family dinner – which now included Charlie and occasionally Jack, or Gabe and Balthazar, or Sam's new neighbors Kevin Tran and his mother, or the garage's newest employee and Bobby's long time friend, Garth. Their little family had certainly grown over the years and Dean had to admit, he loved it. 

As the day went on Dean noticed something different about Jo. It was the subtle way she smiled at Charlie, and how she tucked her hair behind her ear when she laughed and the stolen glances, and – holy shit. They were hooking up.

Dean was so focused on Charlie and Jo he hadn't noticed how uncomfortable Cas was growing beside him.

He tried to silently communicate with the Winchester, but Dean wasn't getting it. Cas was growing frustrated with Dean not paying attention to his needs. This game of theirs only worked with trust and this wasn't it. 

Dean saw Jo enter the house alone and, seeing no one follow her in, decided to go confront her. He leaned against the wall, waiting for her to exit the bathroom. 

"You know there's another one upstairs," she said as she opened the door, drying her hands on a paper towel and tossing it in the bin. 

"You and Charlie?" Dean just came out with it. 

"Shhhh." She cupped her hand over his mouth and pushed him around the corner. "What is your problem?" 

"Well you're not exactly being subtle about it." He then imitated Jo twisting her hair and laughing. 

"Shut up." She shoved him into the wall. 

"What? I think it's cute." 

"Yeah well we aren't serious. Okay? So don't say anything." 

Dean pretended to lock his lips with an imaginary key. 

"And if you do I'll blow open your whole operation out there." She said glancing at Cas. "I see him get all rigid every few minutes. What, do you have him hooked up to some electrodes? You're a real kinky freak, Dean. At family dinner?" 

"Shut up." Dean retorted, not as confidently as he meant it. "It's not like that… it's none of your business." He was flustered. 

But Jo's words spoke deeply to him. He'd neglected Cas. He didn't even notice how uncomfortable his partner had been. 

"Ah, hell. Could you send him in? Discreetly." 

Jo nodded and left Dean. Moments later he heard the door close and saw Cas peak around the corner. 

"Hey, angel." Dean beamed. 

Cas was unimpressed. 

"Aw, c'mere." Dean enveloped Cas who didn't bother unfolding his arms. "I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention before." 

"Dean, I only agreed to this for you. I don't feel comfortable… you know that -" 

"I know, I know. Do you want to stop?" 

"I - I'm not sure…" 

Dean texted Jo 'keep em distracted? Need a few minutes to talk…' 

He saw her check her phone and then look at Dean through the window. When she looked away and he was sure they wouldn't be disturbed he led Cas up the stairs to the master bedroom. 

"Jo thinks I'm electrocuting you," he laughed, closing the door.

"Jo noticed? Dean, I don't like this…" 

"Don't worry. She's not going to say anything, besides she has no idea." 

Dean sat on the bed and patted the space beside him. Cas sat next to him reluctantly and threw his hands over his face. 

"This was a mistake." 

Dean guided Cas' hand to his crotch. "I don't think so," he smiled. 

It was so devilish Cas pretty much forgave Dean out of pure lust. Dean pulled Cas onto his lap but Cas kept his legs together slung over to one side. Dean ran a hand down Castiel's face then tickled his neck a little. Cas shrugged and giggled. 

"Dean, don't. I'll…." He trailed off looking down. 

Dean smiled at Cas and reached down to check the padding. It was a little squishy. He looked at Cas expectantly. 

"I couldn't help it. You would have known if you were paying attention." 

Dean was ruthless and moved his hand to Cas' abdomen, right where his swollen bladder protruded. He pressed down mercilessly. 

"Dean, what… what if I leak?" 

"Shh," Dean hushed him then pulled him into his chest. 

The first squirt that escaped was forceful and audibly spattered against the diaper. 

"I'm sorry I didn't pay attention before. But I've got you now. Do you trust me?" 

"I - I think so." 

Dean kissed Cas on the forehead and pulled him in tight. Cas quit fighting it and decided to trust Dean, he let go and felt the hot liquid pool up around his bottom before soaking into the padding. 

"There," Dean soothed as Cas breathed into his chest. "That's better?" 

Cas only nodded, not capable of forming comprehensible words while relief flooded him (and he flooded the diaper). 

His stream finally tapered and he shivered as the last few drops escaped him. Cas stood to waddle to the conjoining bathroom. He took off the adult diaper very carefully and dried himself off with some bath tissue. 

Dean took the folded up diaper from Cas and discreetly dropped it in one of the bins on the side of the house rejoining the party. Things may not have gone as planned at first, but knowing that no one else besides Dean and Cas had any clue what they just did made Cas' skin tingle all over.


	21. Invite me next time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback to when John tried to "fix" Dean.

When Dean was 14 John came into his room and caught him looking at a dirty magazine. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, though everything Dean did seemed to be a problem, but it wasn't girls Dean was looking at this time. If John had only caught him with one of the ones with girls on it. But he didn't. And John Winchester would raise no homo. No sir. 

First he tried to beat it out of Dean but it didn't seem to work. And when he was 15 John caught him kissing the boy next door. That was the final straw. He sent Dean to a camp that was supposed to take care of that sort of thing. What he didn't know was this so-called camp was a ploy to get young boys under the "watchful eye" of the house father. 

It was there that Dean met Benny. They shared a room and quickly became close. When the house father wasn't taking advantage of the young men at his disposal he was locking them in their rooms. Benny had been there longer and he taught Dean how to tolerate the experience. 

"You ever done it before?" Benny asked. 

"No. Just kissed." 

"You got a pretty face, he'll wanna see it." 

Dean didn't know what that meant. 

"Just keep your mouth lax and remember to breathe." Benny called as Dean was dragged off the first time.

"Dean, is it?" The man asked, walking around the boy to get a better look at him. 

"Yeah," Dean's mouth was dry all of a sudden. 

"You can address me by father, understand?" 

"Sure thing, padre." 

The man turned on his heels and slapped Dean with the back of his hand. 

"That is not what I said. You will address me by father or you will suffer the consequences." 

Dean bowed his head. His own father hit him harder than that, he could take it. But something told him hitting wasn't the only form of punishment at play here.

"Kneel." 

Dean followed obediently, he was used to getting orders, afterall. 

After another moment of inspection the man said, "you do have a delightful face and those lips. Aside from the shiner I just gave you, you should make a wonderful addition. Take him away." 

Dean was hauled back to his room and tossed inside, hearing the door lock behind him. 

Benny knelt beside him and looked at his face. "He's got a mean right hook if you're not careful. What'd he say?" 

"I don't know," Dean got to his feet. "He said I had a delightful face and complimented my lips." 

"Well, count yourself lucky my friend. Could have gone a whole lot worse." 

"Worse? What's worse? I don't even know what any of this means." 

"Father, he has a taste for boys, young and pretty. But he gets what he can here. If he likes your face, alls you gotta do is go down on him. But if he don't like your face, well…" Benny raised his eyebrows. 

"Which one are you?" 

"Remember the advice I gave you?" 

Dean nodded knowingly. 

Between the two of them they shared a small room with 2 twin beds, a tiny bathroom with a toilet, shower and no door, and one dresser. 

Dean sat on his bed while Benny made his way into the bathroom. 

"I'm gonna clean up," he called, starting the water. 

Dean caught a glimpse of Benny stepping into the old claw foot tub, buck naked. 

"Son of a bitch," Dean groaned, noting the obvious tent in his pants. Maybe he could be quick and get off before Benny even got out of the shower. He reached into his boxers and began rubbing himself. He closed his eyes and tried to remember the small moment where he saw Benny. Then he imagined him in the shower, water streaming down his lean muscles, his heavy cock swinging freely - 

"Dean?" 

His eyes flew open and he twisted his head to see Benny standing in the doorway in just a towel. 

"Were you just…?" 

Dean didn't say anything. He knew he should remove his hand from his pants but he couldn't take his hand away, it felt too good, too sensitive. 

"Invite me next time, brother." Was all Benny said, letting his towel fall to the floor. 

Dean couldn't believe his eyes. Benny stood in the doorway stroking himself and he began moving his hand again, slowly up and down his shaft. Benny had a nice body now that Dean could see it in full. 

It didn't take long for Dean to blow his load. Benny chuckled a bit, which made Dean feel a little self conscious. 

"It's alright," Benny moaned as he came. "You'll last longer with practice." 

He cleaned up his mess then went to Dean's bed and sat on the edge. 

"The good thing 'bout a place like this is, yeah you might have to suck a little dick but ain't we here for liking that anyway? And sometimes you get a pretty bunk mate. Put a buncha gay boys in a room together, what could go wrong?" 

"Oh, I'm not… I'm actually bi." 

"Huh. Me too. But we're all just gay to them." 

"Amen to that."


	22. Old Familiar Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A flashback to a time Benny showed Dean kindness. 
> 
> Then, Cas feels a little jealous about meeting someone from Dean's past, but is offered the best reassurance, accidentally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kicking myself for not being a better artist because I *need* a picture of this final scene.

Benny taught Dean everything Father liked and how to keep him happy, and of course they weren't too hard pressed about practicing on each other. 

But there was something Dean was hiding from Benny. Something that, much to Dean's mortification, was about to present itself. 2 weeks into his stay Dean was woken from his sleep by a visibly shaken Benny. When the disorientation wore off Dean was made painfully aware of what had happened. His first clue was the quickly cooling wetness on his groin. Then the sweat that soaked his hair. And the last piece of the puzzle was his sore throat. 

Benny was looking at him wide eyed from the edge of his bed. "Y' okay?" 

Dean tried to speak but his voice was so hoarse. 

“Shh. Shh,” Benny handed Dean the cup from the bedside table. 

He took in some of the water and swallowed hard. Then, clearing his throat, he croaked out a “sorry.” 

Dean hoped Benny didn’t figure out his dirty little secret, he willed him to get up and go back to bed so he could change his clothes and sheets, keeping the shame to himself. But Benny didn’t do that, instead he got up and pulled the sheets off Dean and crumpled them up. Then he left Dean laying in his wet boxers on top of the bed, a little shocked, and ran a bath. Dean finally got himself up off the bed stripped down, tossed his boxers onto the pile and took off the bottom sheet to add to the soiled linens. 

In the bathroom Dean stepped one foot into the warm water, letting it adjust before immersing himself fully. Benny lingered for a moment then decidedly knelt beside the tub and let his hand droop over the edge into the water. He rested his head on the crook of his elbow and looked at Dean. 

“Your old man?” 

“It’s that obvious?” 

“Well, you were screaming about your dad. It ain’t too hard to put it all together.” 

“He told the doctor I got injured playing football. Guess a bladder can’t take that many kicks without some damage. My brother usually sets alarms and gets up with me. It was getting better, I guess the dreams sometimes still bring it up.” 

They sat in silence for a while then Dean said “thanks” in the smallest voice he’d ever conjured up. 

Benny just nodded in response. 

They slept the rest of the night in Benny’s bed since Dean wouldn’t be able to get fresh sheets until morning. Up to that point the only person who’d even come close to that level of intimacy with Dean was Sam, but even still Dean knew he had to look out for Sammy more than Sam should be looking after him, and it felt kind of nice to be cared for by the other boy. 

Three weeks after the incident Dean went home. He had a few other accidents during his stay before Benny started setting alarms on the shitty alarm clock on his nightstand and waking Dean to use the bathroom. When they parted Dean felt a little sad, but he knew he had to go back to Sam. They exchanged addresses and for a while Dean got regular letters from Benny, who stayed at the house for nearly 2 years. Benny would never talk about his family or why he was there so long, but he didn’t seem to mind it. He had new roommates come through but his letters insisted Dean was his favorite. 

When Benny turned 18 he got out of the house and the first thing he did was go to visit Dean. Dean was playing dad to Sam after their father died in a car accident earlier in the year and working at the garage. Luckily Sam was a good kid and didn’t need much help or motivation to finish his homework. Dean let Benny come over when Sam was out studying or with friends, but it was always sneaky. After a few months Benny decided to go back home, he had some loose ends to take care of. Dean gave Benny his cell phone number and told him to call if he was ever in any trouble. They parted ways and didn’t see each other for many years. 

That is until this very day. Dean and Cas sat shoulder to shoulder in a booth at Biggersons across from Benny and his wife, Andrea. Benny was passing through town and stopped at the garage to see if Dean still worked there. They exchanged updated phone numbers and made plans to go to lunch. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” Benny said to Cas, pleasantly. 

Cas immediately noted his gravely southern drawl. He didn’t know everything about Dean’s past with Benny, but he knew enough to feel a twinge of jealousy. 

Cas was noticeably clingy and Dean tried not to let it affect the meeting. After they ordered food Andrea and Bennie excused themselves to wash up. 

“Cas, what is your problem?” 

“I’m sorry Dean. I - I -”

“I know Benny and I have history, but that’s all it is. History. You are my present and my future. I love you. So, just… be normal. Okay?” 

It was the first time Dean said I love you. It didn’t even seem like a big deal to him the way it just casually rolled off his tongue. Cas smiled to himself and relaxed a bit. When Bennie and Andrea came back the conversation shifted to work and what was happening in their recent lives. The time ticked by and long after Dean finished the last bite of his pie they said goodbye to Bennie and Andreas and parted ways. Dean looked over his shoulder as Bennie walked away hand in hand with Andreas and threw his arm around Cas. Bennie glanced back to watch Dean walk away with his arm slung over Castiel’s shoulders. 

Dean drove the impala through the quiet evening streets out of town. 

“Where are we going?” 

Dean never responded, just kept driving. 

“You know I’m not a dog you can just leave on the side of the road somewhere, right?” 

Dean laughed at Castiel but still didn’t let on where they were going. 

He pulled up to an empty field and killed the engine then got out. Cas followed apprehensively. 

“I brought Sam here once. We nearly burned the field down. My dad was so pissed he -- well, doesn’t matter. Sammy and I had so much fun. I remembered how clear it was here compared to in town,” Dean looked up at the sky. 

He sat on the hood of the impala and Cas nervously slid up beside him. They leaned back on the windshield looking up at the stars. 

“Hey, Dean.” Cas was smiling like an idiot. “I love you too.” 

Dean smiled and gave Cas a little nudge with his shoulder. “Shut up,” he said as he pulled him into his chest.


End file.
